i love when people wear those big ahh fluffy boots

usually i only see kpop idols wearing this tho 

watermelon is my OPP

 just remembered this weird thing i always had with watermelon.. specifically watermelon flavored things 

for example when i was a kid i would eat this watermelon shaped ice cream on a couple occasions

whenever i ate this it would make me feel kinda sick. once i had one at my aunt's house and a few minutes after chowing down on one of these suckers i threw up all over her couch 💀💀💀

also one time my mom made me fresh watermelon juice she literally just blended up watermelon and gave me a huge cup of it. i had a few sips and it was ok but then i felt sick like it was disgusting to me 😭

i have no idea why this happens bc eating just sliced watermelon has always been fine but any other form of it my body doesnt like ig. also tbh i dont think watermelon flavored stuff is that good anyway just like how ppl feel about artificial banana flavor

idk if i still have this aversion cuz i only ever eat watermelon in its natural form since then but its so weird im not even allergic or anything 

fart

 

brooughh ive been drawing so inconsistently now that it feels like my art skills are regressing but i made this today 

my ipad updated and ever since it been kinda laggy and weird and procreate keeps going into this small screen version at the slightest touch (with rounded corners ofc) 

curly swirly cats

 i love curly eared cats with the ears that curl back. i saw one in a cat cafe last last summer 10/10

look at how skungly and silly it looks 

scottish folds are also very cute but unfortunately they have a lot of genetic problems :((

i like to fold my cats' ears halfway down so she looks like a scottish fold. instant cute booster 

also bruh look at this scottish fold it looks like dobby lamoo i cant believe ts is real 

egg

Journal

 broo its gonna snow soon apparently i hope it snows a lot and we finally get some days off school. my teacher said its very likely we gonna get monday off at least yayy. she had to cancel her trip to nyc bc of the impending snow and im scared cuz i have to drive on a day its gonna snow 😭driving in snow/ice is sooo ugh the car slides around everywhere and one time the car wouldnt break bc of the ice so i almost rolled over a red light 💀luckily i didnt tho 

today genuinely feels like a Friday I have to keep reminding myself there's school tomorrow 

also im thinking about cutting my own bangs at home chat should i do it or nah. my face is long so i want bangs but i feel like they never turn out good like other girls 😭

high school / friends

 today in english class we had to watch videos people made on a small list of questions. most people picked one where its essentially how high school affected you (i think). 

man it was so weird to see how normal people lived their high school lives 😭 bro everyone's videos were so inspirational and idk how to explain it. like poignant but with a positive connotation. talking about how they were a nervous freshman but found their group of people and stuff and became so self assured by senior year. everyone had sooo many photos of themselves with their friends, at school or events or just anywhere. i think i have like 5 photos of at school and its just random stuff 🥲

i cant believe this is how most people experienced high school 

i dont really feel jealous but its kinda sad when i think about how i made 0 friends at this damn school 💀this year i do have 1 person i sit at lunch with on certain days but i dont feel like i can really call her a real friend. kinda more like acquaintance. we arent even in the same grade either

even my brother who's a freshman effortlessly makes friends when he's kinda quiet like me too. he doesn't even want to be friends with most of them he just attracts people 😭 and my other brother is like a stereotypical ML in a manhwa bro he's so popular and all the girls have crushes on him. i dont wanna think all negative again but it truly feels like theres something inherently wrong with me sometimes💀

i did it omgz

 i finally got a mf job😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏ill be starting next week probs. bruhh i cant believe it i didnt even have to apply to a million places. the job is very customer-heavy so im kinda nervous cuz i gotta memorize a lot of things where im gonna work. and in my interview the store manager clocked me and said i seem like a shy person 💀bruhh hopefully this job fixes my shyness and i learn how to socialize. beforehand i asked and ppl said itll be like free therapy so yay 😭

also i think im the youngest person thats gonna work there bruh 🥀but hopefully i can get life advice or wtvr from my older coworkers. everyone at the store seems very nice so far 😇

lowkey tho i dont wanna work a lot bc its gonna eat up my free time and i have a lot of things i want to learn but whatever 😭working till 11pm gng 

buttt im already getting stuff from my new year resolutions done and january isnt even over!! employment here i come