eating is such a chore

bruh cooking and eating is honestly such a chore. its so hard to gain weight!!! genuinely how do people do this man. i especially hate eating in the mornings when i have school cuz i just wanna go to bed 💀

i feel sick when i try to eat more food and most of the protein stuff tastes funky sighh. im allergic to nuts too so it makes looking for certain foods 2x harder.

also its so weird im trying to eat more but ig my stomach is too small so i cant but i constantly feel hungrier now so idek what to do. i wish there was some pill you could eat that just gives you everything you need 😿

social life ??

 bruh i lowkenuinely be talking to people now and its so weird. to have actual conversations. i still feel awkward and shy but i can have a genuine regular conversation with someone 😭😭its not a lot but whatever. theres not a lot of people in my department :( also everyone asking me if im a shy/quiet person its killing me oh my goudd 😫😩its so awkward im gonna kms. do i give off timid feral street cat vibes ugh 

alsooo kinda unrelated but its so scary to try to answer specific customer questions cuz idk anything. im lucky so far cuz everyone been chill to me but there are some real customer horror stories 💀😰 even the parking lot is weird i already had some dude hassle me about trying to get my number and asking if i do various drugs ☠️

also does anyone else feel as if they dont have social anxiety sometimes. just idk i feel like i have something else too. last year in psych i remember we learned about some disorder and it was the only other time i felt like it could be something i have. think it was called type c personality disorder or something. anyway istggg bro if my mind wasnt so damn empty i wouldnt have 90% of my social anxiety. its not even i have things i want to say but cant bc of SAD i jus never have anything to say 😭😭this is why i can only talk to extroverted people bro i could just listen to someone yap for hours. sighhh i really dont know how everyone comes up with stuff to talk about. someone pls teach me this mysterious power 🙏

random ahh acceptance

 bruh why did i randomly get accepted to some college ive never heard of or contacted 😭they even gave me a scholarship im crine

also im tired of religious colleges trying to recruit me dawg i promise you do not want me🫩stop flooding my inbox!!! 

all ts colleges so desperate ig no one wants to go to college anymore cuz its so expensive and kinda useless now 💀

workout

 yo who else likes the feeling of being sore after a workout 

its genuinely a little disappointing if i work out and feel normal the next day 😭i swear im not a masochist lolol its just satisfying cuz it feels like you really worked out well 

i dont like it if its so bad that i can barely walk or moves my arms tho. and it lasts for days thats not fun. like 1 day is plenty enough thanks 

also kinda related bruh my grip strength disappeared into thin air for some reason 😭😭i used to have crazy grip strength when i was younger. when i did jiu jitsu i was lowk the best at it. and in 4th grade too we had this spinning wheel thing on the playground and i always hung on the longest along with some other people. now my grip strength is just ok. but recently it literally disappeared cuz my hands hurt so bad after just 1 rep of a deadlift. genuinely how did this happen 💀it wasnt like this last time i did deadlifts arghh

Whiplash (2014)

 

I watched Whiplash today......... omg.... it was so peak ngl...... Ok basically it's about this drummer (Andrew) who is in the best music school of the country. His mentor, Fletcher, is extremely unhinged and abusive, and pushes Andrew to his absolute limits in an attempt to help him become not just good, but great to put it simply. 

The cinematography, the acting, the music, the abruptness and tension. Omg. Seeing someone so full of passion, drive, and tenacity. Someone who rejects everything in pursuit of greatness. Absolute cinema. The ending was insane as well. This movie kept going in directions I didn't expect. I watched in on TV so I don't have any screenshots but I also liked the color toning in Whiplash a lot. Everything is very rich and green.

It also has themes of pressure in the creative industry and toxicity (Fletcher is legit insane), depending on how you look at it this movie is a tragedy overall. 

Ts movie the best one I've seen in 2026 so far.. it wasn't dragging or rushing. 🥁

I never knew drumming could elicit so much
emotion like this the acting was so good 

beautiful city

 bruhh the fact that people are still asking me if i just moved here to this school 💀💀💀with graduation in 4 months 😭bro i get this comment every damn year. ive genuinely got to be the most unpopular person in my school not even joking. its kinda funny 

 

i think about this video every day 

also i didnt realize i havent posted in so long i thought it was only 2 days lol