im crying burh my school is gonna do a bunch of cool activities for seniors in the spring and i cant go to any of them cuz i have no friends and will just be out of place 💀💀😭😭😭😭😭😭my heart hurts

aging

 im starting to hate this trend of everyone thinking they're unc man

everyone is so scared to age like ohh im turning 18 in 2 years im so cooked oh im gonna be 23 in 2031 😭calculating your age in future years doesnt help anything everyone will get older its better to enjoy your current age. i didnt even think/worry about turning 18 that much until a couple months beforehand. yeah its scary to get older but people acting like its the end of the line once youre 17 💀as if once you're not a teenager anymore youre some emaciated old dog that needs to be put down

how 14 (and lower) year olds think about anyone 16+

seeing all this stuff makes me feel bad too but in the grand scheme we (mostly talking abt gen z) arent old 😭and constantly thinking about how old you get each year sounds so tiring it cant be all that bad 

i too am kinda scared of getting older but im excited to see what will happen in the future. i cant wait to put my high school years behind me and im so glad im old enough to be graduating this year. im sick of hs!!! the rules and policies get worse every year :\ personally im really looking forward to turning 25! i feel like itll be a good age to be. excited for 20's in general seems like a cool decade 

ok also since we on the topic i wonder what age ill finally look like a real adult. cuz everyone thinks im like 14 💀 i want to wear more adult-like stuff but when i try it looks so out of place bc of my baby face 😭 even i think i look 13-15 at times

and last thing. i hear about people in their 20's and 30's complaining about having all sorts of body pains and stuff. bruh how does your body deteriorate that quickly it has to be because of a sedentary lifestyle most of the time 😭😭😭you gotta workout and stretch or youre not gonna age well dawg. ok i dont wanna lecture about this a lot bc i have back pain sometimes. i cant tell if its bc of my scoliosis or not tho. its the worst when i have to sit for a long time or stretch too much. yo can someone come up with a cure for scoliosis thats not surgery </3 

i want to be like this old man

 

happy february everyone 

Grave of the Fireflies

 Guys I watched this movie late last night.. I've been wanting to see it for a while. My first Ghibli movie ever!! 

Everyone said this movie is absolutely devastating so I was interested... Even saying they could never watch the movie again. Based on that and the description I thought it would be akin to a manhwa I read before, The Horizon. With these comparisons in mind, GoF wasn't as dark and depressing as I expected it to be. I did cry though and it was definitely still tragic.

Basically there are 2 main characters, Seita, a 14 y/o boy, and his 4 y/o sister Setsuko. After their home is bombed they have to move to their aunt's house. However, she is very stingy and sort of impassive towards the two and treats them as burdens, so Seita makes the decision to leave with Setsuko. They make a home out of a cave. Seita has to steal and bargain to get enough food and the kids still end up malnourished and disease-ridden. Despite that there are happy moments sprinkled throughout the movie and the kids retain hope. Also I like how realistic everyone acts throughout the movie especially Setsuko and there's not really and black-and-white villains/heros (although you could argue the aunt and even Seita are sort of villains). 

The tragedy of Gof is not only the circumstances and after-effects of war but also the devastation of pridefulness and selfishness. Seita being too proud is the point of the movie the author wanted to make. Because of Seita being too proud, some things happen (can't say bc spoiler). It's basically implied/foreshadowed through the beginning of the movie tho. Also kinda related he reminded me a bit of Joe Yabuki during some scenes. Seita is proud because of his upbringing with Japan being so stubborn (?) and nationalistic and viewing going back on things as dishonorable (prob why he didn't go back to aunt's house despite starving). He couldn't even believe Japan would surrender in the war when he got the news. But anyway I didn't really get the pridefulness aspect that much at first. It is shown through scenes, but my thinking was that Seita is literally a traumatized kid dealing with apathetic adults, death, destruction, and he's forced to take care of his sister. He isn't an adult and he's not mature enough to deal with everything and think things through carefully. Ofc he won't make the right decisions. 

Btw GoF is inspired by the author's life and makes the movie even more heart-wrenching. 

Apparently Nosaka felt guilty that he would eat food without sharing it to his sister while they were both starving and wrote Seita always giving food to Setsuko because he wished he would've acted that way. He also liked the ending of the movie because of Seita's fate compared to his. Ugh the ending of GoF made me cry the most. Not to be anj-brained but it gave me the same abrupt feeling as when I finished anj. Bro the ending scenes with Setsuko and the marble candy scene really stuck with me this movie is killing me... These poor kids.... 

I love the backgrounds in this movie though

rare happy moment </3333333333333

The rice field scenes were so nostalgic

Man I've been trying to watch more movies lately so this was nice tho. Yesterday (well technically 2 days ago now) I finally watched Fight Club. Might write a review on that idk. And before that I started "It's a Wonderful World" but I've yet to finish it. (It feels a little hard to watch a B&W movie.) I want to watch more Ghibli,, maybe My Neighbor Totoro bc I have a plush of Totoro lol. Princess Mononoke sounds interesting too. 

PPPIDWBAMG

 

Brooo episode 2 finally dropped... peak... also the acronym for this show is ridonkulous. also i wonder who aika's VA is her voice cuz is sooo peppy except for when she has to be a magical girl the disparity is funny 

also wondering when itll get fully animated 

no way

i finally got a 401k !!!

i feel like a real adult now 

i lobe guitar

 bruh guitar is so fun ngl. my fingers barely hurt anymore and i can memorize everything so easily for some reason. it was hard in the beginning but its very rewarding nowadays!!! i feel like im progressing pretty fast 

today i learned how to play 7 nation army. i know how to play 4 riffs now :DDD and im learning minor chords and stuff too. im looking forward to learning barre chords idk when itll come up yet. also i finally figured out how to play hammer chords holy gyatt 😭😭that was stumping me for a while. i cant wait to get an electric guitar so i can stop using my brother's acoustic ☠️

how i feel when i learn
anything new on guitar

also i need to memorize the notes on the fretboard so i can read sheet music & play songs i want and it looks so daunting

like broo what is this why are there a million notes in random orders why cant it be like piano or sum