Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is "logged in for hours" by alyzea! omgg when was the last time i did a song otd.. anyway i love how this sounds. it feels like exploring the internet as a kid and just having fun playing games and stuff. i love all the sound effects in this song & the cover 

what a joke

 i cant believe this. i just posted about how its feeling warmer and then it was freezing cold this morning. and it snowed again! 😭😭😭fake spring bruh when will winter end 

coffee

coffee story time cuz idk what to post anymore. when i was about 8~ years old i really wanted to drink coffee. my dad would make butter coffee every morning and he let me try some one day. he gave me a small cup but i liked it so i begged for more and got a huge cup ☠️ i chugged down most of it but i started feeling sick and my stomach hurt and i threw up a little while later 💔ever since then i hated coffee and avoided it #traumatized. my dad just said i told you so when i got sick bruah 😭

now idc that much but i dont have an appetite for coffee. ill have a sip of it or a mocha frappe or coffee flavored dessert but i mostly refrain from coffee stuff. also i feel like coffee doesnt really have an affect on me even when i drank something with coffee in it at night i didnt have any problems falling asleep. granted, ive never had an actual cup of coffee before bed only something with coffee mixed in but my dad is the same way so maybe i got it from him

also to me coffee looks like its almost as addictive as something like cigarettes except its more normalized 😭coffee withdrawals seem horrible and i cant imagine needing a cup of coffee to feel awake every day bruh. im glad im more of a tea/water person 

i cant wait for springgg!!

 happy march everyone. thinking about spring lately. spring has possibly the most beautiful nature of all seasons bro. when the trees finally grow their leaves back, its such a vibrant and breathtaking shade of green. and it looks so beautiful in the wind. its almost unreal like something out of a movie. and the cherry blossom trees bloom in spring too!! so pretty but they die in a couple weeks :( i drive to school now but when i took the bus my favorite parts of the day were looking at the trees/nature around me on the walk to the bus stop+home. all the bushes and flowers and the sky highkenuinely made me so happy that it made up for the 7 boring hours at school. and i loved seeing birds and bunnies and stuff too.

also in spring the weather is perfect not too cold or hot... you have the freedom to wear whatever style you want in this season. and its not dark at 5pm anymore! and fruits start getting in season again ! 

im happy that its finally feeling warmer now yippeee 

dawgg what happened

 im in the worst everything-block ever rn bro. i dont feel like doing anything 😭i never draw for myself anymore. i dont listen to music so much anymore. my other hobbies are slowly dropping off too :(( this has been going on for months now idk what happened. i feel no motivation for anything 💀i just want to doomscroll but that makes me feel tired and bored af after a bit, but i cant bring myself to do anything else either 

i feel like this image. ignore the text lol 

someoine... save me... when will this go away 

eating is such a chore

bruh cooking and eating is honestly such a chore. its so hard to gain weight!!! genuinely how do people do this man. i especially hate eating in the mornings when i have school cuz i just wanna go to bed 💀

i feel sick when i try to eat more food and most of the protein stuff tastes funky sighh. im allergic to nuts too so it makes looking for certain foods 2x harder.

also its so weird im trying to eat more but ig my stomach is too small so i cant but i constantly feel hungrier now so idek what to do. i wish there was some pill you could eat that just gives you everything you need 😿

social life ??

 bruh i lowkenuinely be talking to people now and its so weird. to have actual conversations. i still feel awkward and shy but i can have a genuine regular conversation with someone 😭😭its not a lot but whatever. theres not a lot of people in my department :( also everyone asking me if im a shy/quiet person its killing me oh my goudd 😫😩its so awkward im gonna kms. do i give off timid feral street cat vibes ugh 

alsooo kinda unrelated but its so scary to try to answer specific customer questions cuz idk anything. im lucky so far cuz everyone been chill to me but there are some real customer horror stories 💀😰 even the parking lot is weird i already had some dude hassle me about trying to get my number and asking if i do various drugs ☠️

also does anyone else feel as if they dont have social anxiety sometimes. just idk i feel like i have something else too. last year in psych i remember we learned about some disorder and it was the only other time i felt like it could be something i have. think it was called type c personality disorder or something. anyway istggg bro if my mind wasnt so damn empty i wouldnt have 90% of my social anxiety. its not even i have things i want to say but cant bc of SAD i jus never have anything to say 😭😭this is why i can only talk to extroverted people bro i could just listen to someone yap for hours. sighhh i really dont know how everyone comes up with stuff to talk about. someone pls teach me this mysterious power 🙏