i cant wait to decorate my dorm room when i go to college ๐ธi always kinda had a plain room. the last place i lived in i decorated it a little bit but thats it. im gonna go ham in college (if i can afford it lol). im also gonna print a big poster of my dog and hang it up so i can look at it every day. she's the cutiest thing in the world ๐๐๐๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ
bruh for some reason i cant eat spicy food at all
even as a kid i remember my mom/grandma would dunk kimchi in water and rinse if off so i could eat it ๐ญ๐
even my dad can eat spicy food better than me ๐my mom is always so confused on why i cant eat even mildly spicy things shskfn
also i dont like kimchi that much. but thats mostly bc i dont like any fermented foods/drinks. i hate pickles the most, how could you ruin cucumbers like that...but i still eat kimchi sometimes though. trying to eat more nowadays (and spicy food too). i like kkakdugi and oi sobagi the most :D
i need to up my spice tolerance fr im missing out on so many peak dishes
ayoot bruh why work actually cool like fr there like my coworkers are gen cool and interesting ๐ฎthere's a guy that knows about 7-ish languages omggg and all my coworkers are so nice and helpful. even the really old guys (well i only talked to one) have interesting stories.
also im so grateful for this girl teaching me everything all the secrets and tips ๐ญ๐absolute lifesaver
some people were shocked that i was in high school and having a job ๐cuz theres a lot of rich families here and not many ppl work apparently. but idk if this is true at least in my school it seems like a lot of ppl have part-time jobs
bruhh curly hair genuinely most beautiful hair type ever. one time i did curls and it turned out soo good it was 11/10 peak. i dont wanna post a pic of myself so heres my artistic rendition:
also i always did my hair the lazy way with just dry hair and doing it the right way (damp hair) really makes a difference wow. it lasts a couple days now. it does loosen by the end of the day depending on the style but not as much as with dry hair. if i used hairspray too it might be even better lol
the way a 600 dollar curler lasts 5 mins on my hair but some random socks leave days-long curls ๐i hated my fine limp white hair for not being able to do anything but after discovering heatless curls i like my hair more now
bruhh i finally finished my training videos arc ๐ญ๐ญ๐๐it was boring af ngl. but i had 1 hour left in my shift so i got to go to the floor for the first time ๐คฏ
it was actually lowkirkinuely fun....... the other person in my department was really nice and helpful bruh. he teaching me everything. he's only been working here for like 2, 3 months max tho so its like a newbie teaching a newbie ๐but yeah. he also said theres mostly young ppl in this department yayy
he introduced to me other employees and they said welcome to home depot hell and prison๐ญ๐ญ๐ญyoo everyone is saying i got a bad department but idk. maybe once i actually work ill hate it ? ☠️
honestly so glad to get out of training,,.. customers dont seem too bad so far.... this job is gonna be like free therapy fr. im gonna get paid to learn how to socialize ๐
im starting to hate this trend of everyone thinking they're unc man
everyone is so scared to age like ohh im turning 18 in 2 years im so cooked oh im gonna be 23 in 2031 ๐ญcalculating your age in future years doesnt help anything everyone will get older its better to enjoy your current age. i didnt even think/worry about turning 18 that much until a couple months beforehand. yeah its scary to get older but people acting like its the end of the line once youre 17 ๐as if once you're not a teenager anymore youre some emaciated old dog that needs to be put down
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| how 14 (and lower) year olds think about anyone 16+ |
i too am kinda scared of getting older but im excited to see what will happen in the future. i cant wait to put my high school years behind me and im so glad im old enough to be graduating this year. im sick of hs!!! the rules and policies get worse every year :\ personally im really looking forward to turning 25! i feel like itll be a good age to be. excited for 20's in general seems like a cool decade
ok also since we on the topic i wonder what age ill finally look like a real adult. cuz everyone thinks im like 14 ๐ i want to wear more adult-like stuff but when i try it looks so out of place bc of my baby face ๐ญ even i think i look 13-15 at times
and last thing. i hear about people in their 20's and 30's complaining about having all sorts of body pains and stuff. bruh how does your body deteriorate that quickly it has to be because of a sedentary lifestyle most of the time ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญyou gotta workout and stretch or youre not gonna age well dawg. ok i dont wanna lecture about this a lot bc i have back pain sometimes. i cant tell if its bc of my scoliosis or not tho. its the worst when i have to sit for a long time or stretch too much. yo can someone come up with a cure for scoliosis thats not surgery </3
Guys I watched this movie late last night.. I've been wanting to see it for a while. My first Ghibli movie ever!!
Everyone said this movie is absolutely devastating so I was interested... Even saying they could never watch the movie again. Based on that and the description I thought it would be akin to a manhwa I read before, The Horizon. With these comparisons in mind, GoF wasn't as dark and depressing as I expected it to be. I did cry though and it was definitely still tragic.
Basically there are 2 main characters, Seita, a 14 y/o boy, and his 4 y/o sister Setsuko. After their home is bombed they have to move to their aunt's house. However, she is very stingy and sort of impassive towards the two and treats them as burdens, so Seita makes the decision to leave with Setsuko. They make a home out of a cave. Seita has to steal and bargain to get enough food and the kids still end up malnourished and disease-ridden. Despite that there are happy moments sprinkled throughout the movie and the kids retain hope. Also I like how realistic everyone acts throughout the movie especially Setsuko and there's not really and black-and-white villains/heros (although you could argue the aunt and even Seita are sort of villains).
The tragedy of Gof is not only the circumstances and after-effects of war but also the devastation of pridefulness and selfishness. Seita being too proud is the point of the movie the author wanted to make. Because of Seita being too proud, some things happen (can't say bc spoiler). It's basically implied/foreshadowed through the beginning of the movie tho. Also kinda related he reminded me a bit of Joe Yabuki during some scenes. Seita is proud because of his upbringing with Japan being so stubborn (?) and nationalistic and viewing going back on things as dishonorable (prob why he didn't go back to aunt's house despite starving). He couldn't even believe Japan would surrender in the war when he got the news. But anyway I didn't really get the pridefulness aspect that much at first. It is shown through scenes, but my thinking was that Seita is literally a traumatized kid dealing with apathetic adults, death, destruction, and he's forced to take care of his sister. He isn't an adult and he's not mature enough to deal with everything and think things through carefully. Ofc he won't make the right decisions.
Btw GoF is inspired by the author's life and makes the movie even more heart-wrenching.
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| I love the backgrounds in this movie though |
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| rare happy moment </3333333333333 |
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| The rice field scenes were so nostalgic |
Brooo episode 2 finally dropped... peak... also the acronym for this show is ridonkulous. also i wonder who aika's VA is her voice cuz is sooo peppy except for when she has to be a magical girl the disparity is funny
also wondering when itll get fully animated
bruh guitar is so fun ngl. my fingers barely hurt anymore and i can memorize everything so easily for some reason. it was hard in the beginning but its very rewarding nowadays!!! i feel like im progressing pretty fast
today i learned how to play 7 nation army. i know how to play 4 riffs now :DDD and im learning minor chords and stuff too. im looking forward to learning barre chords idk when itll come up yet. also i finally figured out how to play hammer chords holy gyatt ๐ญ๐ญthat was stumping me for a while. i cant wait to get an electric guitar so i can stop using my brother's acoustic ☠️
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| how i feel when i learn anything new on guitar |
ive been having a lot of crazy and weird dreams lately but i forget most of them. i just remember a snapshot cuz i dont write my dreams down as much as i used to lol
anyway today i had the craziest dream bruh. basically i was walking home from school down a hill in this city/town. and i saw ICE and random citizens crowding the sidewalk. i was scared i would get deported to korea or something ๐so i stopped and didnt really know what to do since this was the only path home. but i was still curious so i got a little closer.
this one ICE dude was racist and yelling slurs at these 2 black people. one guy and one girl. i was close by so the guy grabbed me and started talking about (i cant remember exactly) but basically something about how im white and ICE wouldnt be racist to me because of that i think. but then ICE started yelling slurs at me too ๐๐and then he started sawing through the guys hand ??!?! and it was bleeding and then i got stabbed and then i cant remember anything else i think i woke up
bro literally wtf was this dream
just remembered this weird thing i always had with watermelon.. specifically watermelon flavored things
for example when i was a kid i would eat this watermelon shaped ice cream on a couple occasions
also one time my mom made me fresh watermelon juice she literally just blended up watermelon and gave me a huge cup of it. i had a few sips and it was ok but then i felt sick like it was disgusting to me ๐ญ
i have no idea why this happens bc eating just sliced watermelon has always been fine but any other form of it my body doesnt like ig. also tbh i dont think watermelon flavored stuff is that good anyway just like how ppl feel about artificial banana flavor
idk if i still have this aversion cuz i only ever eat watermelon in its natural form since then but its so weird im not even allergic or anything
my ipad updated and ever since it been kinda laggy and weird and procreate keeps going into this small screen version at the slightest touch (with rounded corners ofc)
i love curly eared cats with the ears that curl back. i saw one in a cat cafe last last summer 10/10
broo its gonna snow soon apparently i hope it snows a lot and we finally get some days off school. my teacher said its very likely we gonna get monday off at least yayy. she had to cancel her trip to nyc bc of the impending snow and im scared cuz i have to drive on a day its gonna snow ๐ญdriving in snow/ice is sooo ugh the car slides around everywhere and one time the car wouldnt break bc of the ice so i almost rolled over a red light ๐luckily i didnt tho
today genuinely feels like a Friday I have to keep reminding myself there's school tomorrow
also im thinking about cutting my own bangs at home chat should i do it or nah. my face is long so i want bangs but i feel like they never turn out good like other girls ๐ญ
today in english class we had to watch videos people made on a small list of questions. most people picked one where its essentially how high school affected you (i think).
man it was so weird to see how normal people lived their high school lives ๐ญ bro everyone's videos were so inspirational and idk how to explain it. like poignant but with a positive connotation. talking about how they were a nervous freshman but found their group of people and stuff and became so self assured by senior year. everyone had sooo many photos of themselves with their friends, at school or events or just anywhere. i think i have like 5 photos of at school and its just random stuff ๐ฅฒ
i cant believe this is how most people experienced high school
i dont really feel jealous but its kinda sad when i think about how i made 0 friends at this damn school ๐this year i do have 1 person i sit at lunch with on certain days but i dont feel like i can really call her a real friend. kinda more like acquaintance. we arent even in the same grade either
even my brother who's a freshman effortlessly makes friends when he's kinda quiet like me too. he doesn't even want to be friends with most of them he just attracts people ๐ญ and my other brother is like a stereotypical ML in a manhwa bro he's so popular and all the girls have crushes on him. i dont wanna think all negative again but it truly feels like theres something inherently wrong with me sometimes๐
i finally got a mf job๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐๐๐ill be starting next week probs. bruhh i cant believe it i didnt even have to apply to a million places. the job is very customer-heavy so im kinda nervous cuz i gotta memorize a lot of things where im gonna work. and in my interview the store manager clocked me and said i seem like a shy person ๐bruhh hopefully this job fixes my shyness and i learn how to socialize. beforehand i asked and ppl said itll be like free therapy so yay ๐ญ
also i think im the youngest person thats gonna work there bruh ๐ฅbut hopefully i can get life advice or wtvr from my older coworkers. everyone at the store seems very nice so far ๐
lowkey tho i dont wanna work a lot bc its gonna eat up my free time and i have a lot of things i want to learn but whatever ๐ญworking till 11pm gng
buttt im already getting stuff from my new year resolutions done and january isnt even over!! employment here i come
this is a random topic but is anyone else comforted by the idea of su1cide ๐ญ๐like whenever life feels too hard or i get hit with that overwhelming feeling of loneliness its just nice to think that theres always a way out if i really cant deal with it all anymore ๐idk 80% ill never do that but fantasizing about it is how i always coped whenever i felt hopeless and it really works๐
also i never really got people who are scared of death. i would be scared obviously if it was painful but otherwise i dont really care too much when ill die๐ญeven if itll be soon. yeah theres a lot to live for but at the same time my life kinda pointless and empty so idk, idc that much. hope my mindset changes about this later on cuz rn im fr just a lonely & anxiety riddled person who goes to school and home most of the time๐trying to change that this year tho fingers crossed. bruhh if i dont improve at all this year im kms
anyway honestly i really hope that once you die its just nothing a black void and you 100% cease to exist. no more worries or thoughts or anything. this would be the most peaceful and freeing option i could think of. but maybe being reincarnated as a tree or something would be cool
(also i hate it but i dont know if ill get flagged/reported for saying certain words so censoring)
I forgot to make one today. Tbh i'm already kinda busy and probably about to have no free time soon so i dont think imma do ts challenge every day anymore. im still gonna get to 100 days it just wont be every day posting
lowkey jealous of people in school who get jobs with their friends. i overhear multiple people talk about it,, friends who plan on working together or they invite their friend to their workplace and somehow get hired together
it would be way more fun/reassuring to work with a friend or someone you know ๐esp if its a boring and repetitive position. im gonna be so scared when i get a job bro๐ญ๐talking to people and doing everything right and customers who will yell at you omfg.......
i saw this one video where a person was at the mall and pointed out how everyone is wearing the same exact clothes now. and its so true. the people in the video were wearing those mf ug slippers and sweats. everyone in my school dresses the same exact way. at least 80% of people in my school!!! the ug slippers. sweatpants (mostly) but also jeans. and the girls all wear the exact same type of black leggings ๐ญ
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| this is basically the school uniform atp |
also speaking of clothes like this is kinda weird to me personally about dressing so casually at school. people also tend to wear pajamas a lot, its very normalized. i dont necessarily care if others do but i could never feel comfortable wearing literal pajama pants to school ๐even wearing sweatpants feels weird. idk if this is a hot take but jeans are basically the comfortable bottoms imo. as long as theyre not new/stiff i could wear jeans anywhere for any period of time.
anyway its ok if you want to dress more basic or comfortably but everyone is dressed the exact same way. there's literally no differences. its like a cult. tbh i cant talk much bc i dress pretty boring too even tho its not the ug/loungewar combo๐ญi cant wait to change up my style later when i live alone and have money tho
i prefer the western style. japanese style is so snappy and fast. tbh tho i think its not supposed to be so consecutive like i did so it looks faster than it should be. 1-2 would look better
random dump of stuff
- i finally finished this long ahh book called "the radium girls" - it was literally 900+ pages on libby bro. took so long to finish but i finally did it ๐ญ๐ thinking about writing an actual review for this later but idk
- my blog would be so barren without my animation thing rn bruh i want to post more but i never have the time/energy to write my stuff out ๐ญso im doing this
- also at my school they were giving out free books for some reason and i snagged 4 >:) i already read one of them before but i remember it was good so ill re-read it sometime. itll be good to read physical books more
- learned my first riff on guitar today yayy. im excited to learn some more complicated riffs soon
simple one for today :D i cant wait to get past beginner exercises. idk what imma animate tho cuz ill have no guide lol
bro why is animation uniractualowkenuinely so hard ts frying me bruh. man also i need to re-learn perspective again skull emoji
i really want to befriend crows and/or ravens sometime. they are so cute and intelligent. it would be really cool to have a bird friend :-) hoping wherever i go to college has a lot of crows/ravens. i will feed them nuts and seeds every day ๐ sometimes i see crows around here but not often ,.. they always fly away when i get too close
Drawing chains is hard af and animating them is even harder ๐dont look at the top of my animation its choppy af
Day 2 ๐ญ๐ญmore balls ๐คi cant wait to figure ts program out. something is wrong with this animation but idk how to fix it cuz the program wont work right ?? like it wont delete the frames i want it to and stuff
bruhhhuhhg omg im actually spending more time on hobbies and not doomscrolling as much nowadays. i thought doing hobbies would make time pass more slower?? thats what everyone says. ngl to me it feels just as fast as doomscrolling ๐๐ญnoooo... at least im being more productive with my time. but it still feels like the day is going by so quickly. i dont even have time to do all the hobbies i'd really like to in a day. i have to stay up to 1am just to do like 70% of what i wanna do in a day ๐ฅ๐ค
also im looking to finally get a job. and this is gonna suck up even more of my time. but i need money..,, to fund hobbies and stuff i want to do... ughhh wish i could win a powerball or smth
next quarter my eng class gonna do this essay assignment that im actually lowkirkinely looking forward to. basically we have to write a 4-page review on a movie or book. bruh ive never had this typa assignment before im so exciteddd. i want to watch more movies this year so ts perfect too. i have an entire doc filled with media i want to watch sometime. maybe i can use this experience to watch media more critically :DD i hope my analysis skills improve too
i have the weirdest name ever ๐ญhow did my family come up with all ts oh my goodness gracious bro. 100% chance no one in the world has the same full name as me; my middle name doesnt even come up if i google it. its suposed to be korean but it doesnt sound korean at all too lmao
anyway the thing that pmo about my name (first mostly) is that no one can pronounce it or remember it ever ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ when i went to summer college the counselors there were tryna memorize everyone's names right. from what i saw they mostly got it down quickly for everyone but i was suffering. literally weeks into the program this one counselor especially. he couldnt remember my name for the life of him. my roommate and i had to check out before and after dinner every day and several days in a row i had to remind him like dawg you literally know mee ๐ข i told you my name an hour ago!!
its not even cuz i dont have an american name bc my roommate doesnt have an american name either but ppl had no problem with her๐ญim just forgettable ig
#1 most annoying and common thing is attendance in school. especially with substitutes. they are always asking multiple times if they said my name right like bro just move on PLEASE we're only meeting once ๐๐ right before winter break this one sub kept asking me how to say my name. and i have a quiet voice right. so i kept yelling (or trying to) across the room and everyone was starting to look at me bc she wouldn't stop asking GOUHDDDJDD ๐ญ๐ญ๐๐๐ญ๐๐☠️๐ญ๐๐
ive been online friends with people who cant say/spell my name for weeks or even years of knowing me. lol. it truly is a curse when you name your child something weird. nowadays ppl naming their kids something crazy like "rafferty" or "teghn" or "lylyt yvyh yryhl" (all real btw). i feel so bad for these kids theyre gonna suffer and get bullied
learning new stuff is lowkirkenuinely so fun.. being self taught is kinda hard but i dont want to ask for lessons for multiple hobbies cuz itll be so expensive so i gotta persevere ๐ญ
for some reason playing guitar feels 100x more intuitive than when i last tried. and im genuinely improving with minimal practice like one session i cant play the chord well even with sheet music but next time i try i can, without any sheet music ๐คฏ๐คฏ
also learning some dancing too cuz why not. ts also difficult cuz i need to develop specific muscles. but the other day i reached some sort of flow state bc of this one move and it genuinely felt like i was floating. i literally felt weightless it was so weird and cool
how life feels when you stop doomscrolling and start learning stuff ๐️☘️๐ผ๐๐ท
how do people have dream schools for college broughh. ive prob said this before but in 8th grade there were people like this girl who already knew what college she wanted to go to and she even wore the school-themed merch ๐ญ๐ญhow are people so dead set on their #1 pick !!
every college has pros and cons so i couldnt really pick my dream/#1 college tbh. i kinda just wanna go somewhere thats diverse, not too cold and has lots of things nearby cuz its so boring where i live ๐ช
happy ashita no joe anniversary as well
Happy new year everyone!!! yayyy new year!!! i checked my goals for this year and i completed 5/8 which is pretty good! some i only improved a little but thats ok. this year i have a lot of different goals and i hope i complete most of them and become a better person :) im excited for 2026!!!
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| i wanted to draw smth but i gave up halfway thru lol |
ngl this year was kinda... idk if i can say whether it was good or bad. there were a lot of bad times. and problems that are still persisting. but some good days too. i think most days were average. i mostly stopped using my daily journal so idk. since its the end of the year i can put those bad days behind me now ig.. anyway i have a good feeling about 2026 so girl whatever!
i cant wait to decorate my dorm room when i go to college ๐ธi always kinda had a plain room. the last place i lived in i decorated it a lit...
