social life ??

 bruh i lowkenuinely be talking to people now and its so weird. to have actual conversations. i still feel awkward and shy but i can have a genuine regular conversation with someone 😭😭its not a lot but whatever. theres not a lot of people in my department :( also everyone asking me if im a shy/quiet person its killing me oh my goudd 😫😩its so awkward im gonna kms. do i give off timid feral street cat vibes ugh 

alsooo kinda unrelated but its so scary to try to answer specific customer questions cuz idk anything. im lucky so far cuz everyone been chill to me but there are some real customer horror stories 💀😰 even the parking lot is weird i already had some dude hassle me about trying to get my number and asking if i do various drugs ☠️

also does anyone else feel as if they dont have social anxiety sometimes. just idk i feel like i have something else too. last year in psych i remember we learned about some disorder and it was the only other time i felt like it could be something i have. think it was called type c personality disorder or something. anyway istggg bro if my mind wasnt so damn empty i wouldnt have 90% of my social anxiety. its not even i have things i want to say but cant bc of SAD i jus never have anything to say 😭😭this is why i can only talk to extroverted people bro i could just listen to someone yap for hours. sighhh i really dont know how everyone comes up with stuff to talk about. someone pls teach me this mysterious power 🙏

random ahh acceptance

 bruh why did i randomly get accepted to some college ive never heard of or contacted 😭they even gave me a scholarship im crine

also im tired of religious colleges trying to recruit me dawg i promise you do not want me🫩stop flooding my inbox!!! 

all ts colleges so desperate ig no one wants to go to college anymore cuz its so expensive and kinda useless now 💀

workout

 yo who else likes the feeling of being sore after a workout 

its genuinely a little disappointing if i work out and feel normal the next day 😭i swear im not a masochist lolol its just satisfying cuz it feels like you really worked out well 

i dont like it if its so bad that i can barely walk or moves my arms tho. and it lasts for days thats not fun. like 1 day is plenty enough thanks 

also kinda related bruh my grip strength disappeared into thin air for some reason 😭😭i used to have crazy grip strength when i was younger. when i did jiu jitsu i was lowk the best at it. and in 4th grade too we had this spinning wheel thing on the playground and i always hung on the longest along with some other people. now my grip strength is just ok. but recently it literally disappeared cuz my hands hurt so bad after just 1 rep of a deadlift. genuinely how did this happen 💀it wasnt like this last time i did deadlifts arghh

Whiplash (2014)

 

I watched Whiplash today......... omg.... it was so peak ngl...... Ok basically it's about this drummer (Andrew) who is in the best music school of the country. His mentor, Fletcher, is extremely unhinged and abusive, and pushes Andrew to his absolute limits in an attempt to help him become not just good, but great to put it simply. 

The cinematography, the acting, the music, the abruptness and tension. Omg. Seeing someone so full of passion, drive, and tenacity. Someone who rejects everything in pursuit of greatness. Absolute cinema. The ending was insane as well. This movie kept going in directions I didn't expect. I watched in on TV so I don't have any screenshots but I also liked the color toning in Whiplash a lot. Everything is very rich and green.

It also has themes of pressure in the creative industry and toxicity (Fletcher is legit insane), depending on how you look at it this movie is a tragedy overall. 

Ts movie the best one I've seen in 2026 so far.. it wasn't dragging or rushing. 🥁

I never knew drumming could elicit so much
emotion like this the acting was so good 

beautiful city

 bruhh the fact that people are still asking me if i just moved here to this school 💀💀💀with graduation in 4 months 😭bro i get this comment every damn year. ive genuinely got to be the most unpopular person in my school not even joking. its kinda funny 

 

i think about this video every day 

also i didnt realize i havent posted in so long i thought it was only 2 days lol

room

 i cant wait to decorate my dorm room when i go to college 😸i always kinda had a plain room. the last place i lived in i decorated it a little bit but thats it. im gonna go ham in college (if i can afford it lol). im also gonna print a big poster of my dog and hang it up so i can look at it every day. she's the cutiest thing in the world 😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

spicy food

 bruh for some reason i cant eat spicy food at all

even as a kid i remember my mom/grandma would dunk kimchi in water and rinse if off so i could eat it 😭💔

even my dad can eat spicy food better than me 💀my mom is always so confused on why i cant eat even mildly spicy things shskfn 

also i dont like kimchi that much. but thats mostly bc i dont like any fermented foods/drinks. i hate pickles the most, how could you ruin cucumbers like that...but i still eat kimchi sometimes though. trying to eat more nowadays (and spicy food too). i like kkakdugi and oi sobagi the most :D

i need to up my spice tolerance fr im missing out on so many peak dishes 

 ayoot bruh why work actually cool like fr there like my coworkers are gen cool and interesting 😮there's a guy that knows about 7-ish languages omggg and all my coworkers are so nice and helpful. even the really old guys (well i only talked to one) have interesting stories. 

also im so grateful for this girl teaching me everything all the secrets and tips 😭🙏absolute lifesaver 

some people were shocked that i was in high school and having a job 💀cuz theres a lot of rich families here and not many ppl work apparently. but idk if this is true at least in my school it seems like a lot of ppl have part-time jobs 

born to have curly hair forced to have straight hair

 bruhh curly hair genuinely most beautiful hair type ever. one time i did curls and it turned out soo good it was 11/10 peak. i dont wanna post a pic of myself so heres my artistic rendition:

it looked so amazing burh. even this drawing doesnt do it justice. my straight hair is so boring and flat in comparison. i feel like straight hair looks good 15% of the time. mann but i cant recreate how my hair came out that day tho even after trying several times 😭💔💔🥀tragic........ 

also i always did my hair the lazy way with just dry hair and doing it the right way (damp hair) really makes a difference wow. it lasts a couple days now. it does loosen by the end of the day depending on the style but not as much as with dry hair. if i used hairspray too it might be even better lol 

the way a 600 dollar curler lasts 5 mins on my hair but some random socks leave days-long curls 💀i hated my fine limp white hair for not being able to do anything but after discovering heatless curls i like my hair more now  

 does anyone read "asl" as "as life" ik it means as hell but it doesnt look like it. same with "ash" but asl is better than ash cuz ash is already a real word 💀

work lowkey fun

 bruhh i finally finished my training videos arc 😭😭🙏🙏it was boring af ngl. but i had 1 hour left in my shift so i got to go to the floor for the first time 🤯

it was actually lowkirkinuely fun....... the other person in my department was really nice and helpful bruh. he teaching me everything. he's only been working here for like 2, 3 months max tho so its like a newbie teaching a newbie 💀but yeah. he also said theres mostly young ppl in this department yayy 

he introduced to me other employees and they said welcome to home depot hell and prison😭😭😭yoo everyone is saying i got a bad department but idk. maybe once i actually work ill hate it ? ☠️

honestly so glad to get out of training,,.. customers dont seem too bad so far.... this job is gonna be like free therapy fr. im gonna get paid to learn how to socialize 😎

 im crying burh my school is gonna do a bunch of cool activities for seniors in the spring and i cant go to any of them cuz i have no friends and will just be out of place 💀💀😭😭😭😭😭😭my heart hurts

aging

 im starting to hate this trend of everyone thinking they're unc man

everyone is so scared to age like ohh im turning 18 in 2 years im so cooked oh im gonna be 23 in 2031 😭calculating your age in future years doesnt help anything everyone will get older its better to enjoy your current age. i didnt even think/worry about turning 18 that much until a couple months beforehand. yeah its scary to get older but people acting like its the end of the line once youre 17 💀as if once you're not a teenager anymore youre some emaciated old dog that needs to be put down

how 14 (and lower) year olds think about anyone 16+

seeing all this stuff makes me feel bad too but in the grand scheme we (mostly talking abt gen z) arent old 😭and constantly thinking about how old you get each year sounds so tiring it cant be all that bad 

i too am kinda scared of getting older but im excited to see what will happen in the future. i cant wait to put my high school years behind me and im so glad im old enough to be graduating this year. im sick of hs!!! the rules and policies get worse every year :\ personally im really looking forward to turning 25! i feel like itll be a good age to be. excited for 20's in general seems like a cool decade 

ok also since we on the topic i wonder what age ill finally look like a real adult. cuz everyone thinks im like 14 💀 i want to wear more adult-like stuff but when i try it looks so out of place bc of my baby face 😭 even i think i look 13-15 at times

and last thing. i hear about people in their 20's and 30's complaining about having all sorts of body pains and stuff. bruh how does your body deteriorate that quickly it has to be because of a sedentary lifestyle most of the time 😭😭😭you gotta workout and stretch or youre not gonna age well dawg. ok i dont wanna lecture about this a lot bc i have back pain sometimes. i cant tell if its bc of my scoliosis or not tho. its the worst when i have to sit for a long time or stretch too much. yo can someone come up with a cure for scoliosis thats not surgery </3 

i want to be like this old man

 

happy february everyone