I found my spirit animal

This one species of monkey that was discovered in 2007. Called a Lesula.

Just look at that unimpressed expression.
And those beautiful big eyes.. 

Ts is literally me... if I could I'd totally forage for fruits and vegetables all day 

My newest obsession

my queen... mizu i would treat you
  better than any man ever could 😭🙏

I binged BES in 2 days and it was so good omg; ep 5 especially is peak!! the layered storytelling is insane. Mizu (the protag) is so cool i love her 🤩🤩 she lowkey just like me.... im the korean version of her.... 

Also mizu unironically made me feel better about being wasian too wow. ive never seen a wasian character in media before that actually explores their identity issues. especially about not liking one side of yourself. and how people will never see you as 'full' because you're mixed. Omg if i was in BES i would definitely be getting stoned every other day for looking white lol 💀

Anyway, BES is all I've been thinking about for the past 2~ weeks. cant wait for s2 😍 the animation and visuals are so amazing,  especially the environments. The art style is pretty unique/recognizable too. Great show overall 

More fanart! Androgynous women gotta be one of the best things ever. Forever will be peak to me. And I love Mizu's voice too 😍 

 this is really random but yknow how the past tense of 'sneak' is sneaked. this sounds so wrong to me. i feel like it should be snuck. snuck should be the formal past tense of sneak not sneaked. sneaked sounds so awkward and clunky, snuck is easier to say and sounds more smooth/elegant to me. 

deep voices on women 😍

 who else loves women with deep/mature/husky sounding voices!! its so underrated i swear.. omg one time i stumbled upon this one korean youtuber's video and she doesnt talk a lot but in this one she speaks with her full voice and it was the deepest voice ive ever heard on a woman before. holyy it was literally exquisite though made me go a little bit crazy tbh. 

i hate that women are expected to have high-pitched bubbly voices bruh why do aesthetic norms have to be so restrictive 😭 i will never understand people that hate on low voices for women. its so peak 😩

beauty standards

 its kinda crazy how ingrained beauty standards and gender norms are in this world. the first time i was aware/insecure of my body was literally kindergarten 💀 cuz i was sitting at a table and 2 of my classmates (boys) were talking about how they already had arm hair growing in. omg i remember this moment so clearly. they said the fact that they had arm hair meant they were already men/on the way to becoming real men. and then they were debating on whether girls had arm hair and ended up with the conclusion that girls didnt have body hair 😭 who taught them this stereotype at the ripe age of 5 bro. i remember feeling so confused cuz i had arm hair and wanted to interject that that wasnt true but i felt too ashamed/shy to say that. 

yknow what, thinking about it, maybe this was one of the incidents that helped kick-start my low self-esteem and anxiety arc .. 💀

it always kills me inside when men complain about women having any type of body hair and literally saying women should be hung/killed/assaulted for it. what the hell man 💔💔 men saying they want a 'natural woman' and then not being able to handle the fact that women are not born with silky smooth hairless dolphin skin ☠️☠️☠️ do straight guys even like women. 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is No. 1 Party Anthem by Arctic Monkeys.. been kinda obsessed with this song lately. It's so bittersweet. 2:20-3:00 is so peak especially... This has been my first song otd in a while but tbh dont think im gonna do them much anymore. havent been listening to as much music as well 

Also I saw this one Nishi edit and omg.. someone tell me why it keeps making me tear up... I think this is the 1st Nishi edit I've ever seen. He's so underrated fr. It's actually really insane when you think about Nishi's character arc, he changed so much. Also I think Nishi was Joe's first real friend? I love their friendship so much wahh I miss anj again now 😭 It's so tragic that he didn't attend Joe's last match bro why wasn't he there 💔💔

my last summer break hughhh // adulthood

 bruh i cant believe this is basically my last summer break for HS. yeah theres technically another break after 12th but that doesnt really count imo. by then ill be an adult. and after graduation ill be probably busy looking for a j*b or college prep idk. 

only got a few weeks left of break... lowkey its really sad. normal people hang out with their friends a lot during summer break and ill never get to experience that at this point 😭 time feels like its slipping by too quickly. and it feels like its kinda too late for things even though people tell me stuff like "your life has barely begun." 

sighh also i dont really want to be an adult soon. the thought of not being legally considered a child anymore is so terrifying to me. why cant adulthood be when you turn 20/21. your brain doesnt even fully mature until 25+. and 18 is still technically a teen year even if youre legally an adult. is there even much difference between 17 and 18... tbh im kinda conflicted about turning 18 because people say it gets better but also idk. ive also heard people who are 65 still feeling 17 in their head. i dont know if thats terrifying or comforting 😭😭i wonder what age ill feel like a real adult cuz i still feel like a 13 year old and have the same feelings as my 3rd grade self 💀

anyway i need to lock in and get work done for the rest of this summer but my procrastination is so bad lol. i dont wanna study for SATS 😭 i hate math!! 

all these colleges want me so bad

 think i literally got 20 emails from colleges just from today. maybe even more. and the day isnt even over yet. why are they always spamming me bruh. i didnt even give my contact info to most of them?? colleges are soo desperate for no reason they just want peoples money smh my head. 

also these schools are sending me brochures LEFT and RIGHT oh my gahh man i literally have a huge stack of them. i never read the brochures or emails anyway. only 1 bc it looked pretty and well-thought out. 

can they stop spamming me already..💔💔i am NOT interested in goucher college what kinda name is that. and i DONT want to become a miner!!

summer art

 some of my artworks since summer break started 😝

human version of my vampire oc bc 
i wanted to test a new coloring brush lol
i like the background :D

drew her on a whim and i like
how it turned out!

ok thats it cuz this getting long