Thursday, October 23, 2025

my eyes are so weird

 why ts always happening to me

every so often one of my eyes gets all weird ๐Ÿ˜ญill have a triple or quadruple lid for a few days or a week... (this happened today btw)๐Ÿฅ€sometimes 1 eye even turns into a monolid somehow... the difference in my eyes whenever this occurs is so annoying bruh 

i swear ive experienced every eye type ever or smth bro double lid, hooded, monolid, ๐Ÿ’€

one time i woke up and all my eyelashed were inside my eye ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ™ that was so bizarre how does that even happen  

Wednesday, October 22, 2025

i just want to say
today in class i answered a question for the first time ever. like without raising hand or getting called on or anything. no one else was answering so i blurted it out and i got it correct too and no one looked at me ๐Ÿ˜Œas if this was a regular occurrence. omg i NEVER couldve done this last year!! i actually have the confidence to raise my hand this year and volunteer for answering questions this is crazy. why is this so freeing actually.... kinda sorta.... 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Scrawny by Wallows! Randomly came across this song on Spotify. I haven't heard this in forever omg. Back in 9th grade I would always listen to this one specific playlist during the bus ride to school and look out the window. This was one of the songs on there and now whenever I hear one of them it gives me such a weird feeling ๐Ÿ˜ญIdk it's kinda like nostalgia but I don't really feel wistful of the memories. I wonder if I could ever find that playlist again.. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2025

HELPPPUHHH

 ive had this weird thing stuck ?? in my throat for like a week now

it feels like a cactus spike is stuck in the back of my throat its so annoying ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญits painful sometimes when i eat or swallow wtf happened i didnt even eat anything weird 

PLEASEEE GO AWAY SOON why is this happening to me again ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฅ€๐Ÿฅ€๐Ÿฅ€

Monday, October 20, 2025

phone calls

 broughh omgg

today i had to call my bank cuz i couldnt login ๐Ÿ˜’and it actually went well omg. it went like 90% smoothly and it was easier than i thought it'd be 

last time i called the bank i was trying not to cry lols 

chat is my phone call anxiety almost gone ?!?! i still dont like phone calls that much but i can do it so.. yippee!! 

 broouhhgh i really wish i was raised to be more 'expressionate' idk like. parents who sing or dance or play an instrument and encourage their children to do it too and it becomes a fun hobby or even career for the kids. feel like i would be so much more confident now if i was raised like that too ๐Ÿ˜ญ and it would force me out of being anxious 

i guess i had my chances though cuz i used to take ballet and do piano and did performances for both. actually i think those experiences mightve made me not as anxious as i couldve been when doing presentations now. i dont even remember why i wanted to quit ballet now smh my head.

thinking about how when people are like 20+, they look back on what they used to do as a kid for fun and try to get into those things again. 

i need new hobbies so bad if i start singing/dancing will it increase my self efficacy/esteem ๐Ÿ˜ญwish i got into this stuff again when i was 14 or 15, when i had so much free time. ughhh 18 is young in the long run but it is also old sighh 

Saturday, October 18, 2025

i love making desserts

 in another life, i would definitely become a pastry chef 

i would make all kinds of things like 3 dozen raspberry croissants with raspberry cream filling, eclairs, baklava cheesecake, crepes, cannoli, profiteroles, kulfi, mooncakes, etc ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค 

actually i could learn to make all these things without becoming a chef. im gonna do it one day >:)

baking is so fun i love baking yummy foods its my jam ong. i want to do it more but i cant really :'( when im an adult living on my own i can!! 

i also need to learn how to cook more too not just desserts lol. it takes me 3 hours to make one thing sometimes.... 

Friday, October 17, 2025

cigarettes

 smoking is so bad for you but i cant deny theres a specific kind of aura and mood when someone or a character smokes (not so much irl tho) that you cant achieve with anything else. like in reaction images and memes yknow


 like it gives off such a weary feeling or knowledgeable/cool depending on the context and emotion 

if only smoking wasnt horrible and addictive and didnt smell obnoxious 

speaking of smoking i had a really weird dream about it once. it all started with something my dad told me. basically there's new studies and whatnot and apparently eating a french fry is WORSE than smoking a cigarette. because your body can detoxify the cig better/faster than the fry (?).  

anyway so then that night i had the dream. its been a while so i dont remember the details but i still know the basic plot. ok so my brother and i were addicted to smoking. i remember smoking in a car. i wanted to quit but it was difficult. however i eventually managed to quit somehow. but my brother was still addicted and couldnt quit. and then it ended.

it felt so bizarre to have that kind of dream bro....... i cant even describe it.... its kinda cool/weird when real life events inspire or occur in my dreams though. i should start up my dream journaling again but im always too lazy to write them down. 

Thursday, October 16, 2025

guess who's back

 new drawings of lou and indy yayy! i havent drawn these 2 in forever

i love how lou turned out
but indy......
i cant figure out how to draw her but its a sketch without any refs so whatever ... 

who want to make labubu dubai chocolate smores for winter

 who want to make labubu dubai chocolate smores for winter

Monday, October 13, 2025

why am i genuinely an old man already

 bruh i got so many white hairs i mean i noticed this near the beginning of 2025 but it was like. 1 strand.

i literally got all the bad genes from my family im not even joking. i cant think of a single good thing i got other than my eye color. kms ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Sunday, October 5, 2025

split ends

 does anyone else have a million split ends in their hair

i have so many and its bothered me ever since i realized i have split ends years ago ๐Ÿ˜‚ ive been manually cutting them off, prob cut off hundreds of hair strands by now. im never doing anything to my hair again... im never getting a perm again... i just want long healthy hair 

some of the split ends in my hair were GNARLY bro literally 1 strand splitting off into 6+ pieces eughh ๐Ÿ˜ญits reallyy satisfying to cut them off though

Saturday, October 4, 2025

what the helly ?!?!?!?!?

 guess who took the sat today. this was the worst experience ever im not even exaggerating ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”

FIRST OF ALL!! for some reason my computer would NOT connect the the wifi no matter what. some nice person even tried to help me but it still wasnt working. so i was holding everyone back for at least 15 mins and everyone was looking at me holy ☹️๐Ÿ˜ž great way to start the day. so i ended up starting like an hour late along with 5 other people. there were so many problems not just connecting to wifi sighh.. but everything else was quick compared to that. 

bro reading and writing module 2 was genuinely insane. it was like taking a damn science test not a reading test ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญI DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE VEINS ON A LEAF OR THE SPECIES ON SOME 40 MILLION YEAR OLD ISLAND OR WHAT DEPTH SHELLS UNDER THE SEA HATCH!! omG half the questions and passages were genuinely so dense and long that i had to guess on like 7 of them cuz i ran out of time. im so maddd cuz r&w is the only thing im good at and ik i couldve done so much better ughh but there was no time and some questions really were ridiculous. im not tweaking out either hundreds of people had the same experience even tutors!!! 

math wasnt good either but then again im not particularly good at math so i cant really tell anything ๐Ÿ˜ญ but lots of people said math was also unusually hard. 

also i was sitting right in front of the proctors desk bc i had to charge my borrowed laptop and this was the worst decision ever ๐Ÿ˜ญeverything was good for the first module! then she started constantly drinking water loudly and eating all kinds of food wtf. this lasted all the way until the last module was halfway over btw. think i have some sort of misophonia because the chewing, gulping, and mouth noises she was making genuinely infuriated me and it was all i could focus on๐Ÿ’€and there was also a lively cheerleading team practicing outside our classroom. so i couldnt concentrate at all ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”proctors eating/drinking during testing time should be illegal.

how i felt during that rw section.
during the whole experience really

shouldve taken the september sat rughhjgk everyone said that was really easy. ofc the next one has to be diabolical. i heard people say there were literally kids sobbing in the test room. you cant make ts up man ๐Ÿ’€also the comments ppl are making about this sat are killing me theyre so funny to read. we all suffering together rn๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

well, looks like i have to go test-optional ๐Ÿ˜ฌ if i was majoring in art this would be maybe fine, but for other things... ok but everyone else seemed to struggle a lot for this sat so i hope theres a huge curve ๐Ÿ˜ป

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Sienna by The Marias! Ik this is supposed to be a sad song but I never saw it that way. I love how dreamy this song feels. The part at 2:25, there's something so romantic (?) about it sighhh. 

I guess not romantic exactly but there's something so inherently loving and wistful/yearnful about that part.. the ending of this song is sooo good with that abrupt cutoff too 

Thursday, October 2, 2025

i really want to befriend older people

 ok first of all happy october i was gonna post yesterday but i accidentally fell asleep at like 9pm lol. theres only 2 months of the year left!!!!! how crazy. i feel like i should be getting a lot done this month ahhhh!!! need to delete my procrastination issues ong

anyway. i really wanna befriend someone older... like 60-80. even 30+ idc. maybe there will be a volunteering option where theres gonna be old people that i can do. man i just really want someone who can give me life advice and can be like a role model idk ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญi want to listen to all their life stories. i love listening to people talk!! and we can keep each other company ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘since a lot of older people are lonely. everyone lonely nowadays. 

my eyes are so weird

 why ts always happening to me every so often one of my eyes gets all weird ๐Ÿ˜ญill have a triple or quadruple lid for a few days or a week......