why ts always happening to me
every so often one of my eyes gets all weird ๐ญill have a triple or quadruple lid for a few days or a week... (this happened today btw)๐ฅsometimes 1 eye even turns into a monolid somehow... the difference in my eyes whenever this occurs is so annoying bruh
i swear ive experienced every eye type ever or smth bro double lid, hooded, monolid, ๐
one time i woke up and all my eyelashed were inside my eye ๐ญ๐ญ๐ that was so bizarre how does that even happen
Today's song OTD is Scrawny by Wallows! Randomly came across this song on Spotify. I haven't heard this in forever omg. Back in 9th grade I would always listen to this one specific playlist during the bus ride to school and look out the window. This was one of the songs on there and now whenever I hear one of them it gives me such a weird feeling ๐ญIdk it's kinda like nostalgia but I don't really feel wistful of the memories. I wonder if I could ever find that playlist again..
ive had this weird thing stuck ?? in my throat for like a week now
it feels like a cactus spike is stuck in the back of my throat its so annoying ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญits painful sometimes when i eat or swallow wtf happened i didnt even eat anything weird
PLEASEEE GO AWAY SOON why is this happening to me again ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
broughh omgg
today i had to call my bank cuz i couldnt login ๐and it actually went well omg. it went like 90% smoothly and it was easier than i thought it'd be
last time i called the bank i was trying not to cry lols
chat is my phone call anxiety almost gone ?!?! i still dont like phone calls that much but i can do it so.. yippee!!
broouhhgh i really wish i was raised to be more 'expressionate' idk like. parents who sing or dance or play an instrument and encourage their children to do it too and it becomes a fun hobby or even career for the kids. feel like i would be so much more confident now if i was raised like that too ๐ญ and it would force me out of being anxious
i guess i had my chances though cuz i used to take ballet and do piano and did performances for both. actually i think those experiences mightve made me not as anxious as i couldve been when doing presentations now. i dont even remember why i wanted to quit ballet now smh my head.
thinking about how when people are like 20+, they look back on what they used to do as a kid for fun and try to get into those things again.
i need new hobbies so bad if i start singing/dancing will it increase my self efficacy/esteem ๐ญwish i got into this stuff again when i was 14 or 15, when i had so much free time. ughhh 18 is young in the long run but it is also old sighh
in another life, i would definitely become a pastry chef
i would make all kinds of things like 3 dozen raspberry croissants with raspberry cream filling, eclairs, baklava cheesecake, crepes, cannoli, profiteroles, kulfi, mooncakes, etc ๐คค๐คค๐คค
actually i could learn to make all these things without becoming a chef. im gonna do it one day >:)
baking is so fun i love baking yummy foods its my jam ong. i want to do it more but i cant really :'( when im an adult living on my own i can!!
i also need to learn how to cook more too not just desserts lol. it takes me 3 hours to make one thing sometimes....
smoking is so bad for you but i cant deny theres a specific kind of aura and mood when someone or a character smokes (not so much irl tho) that you cant achieve with anything else. like in reaction images and memes yknow
if only smoking wasnt horrible and addictive and didnt smell obnoxious
speaking of smoking i had a really weird dream about it once. it all started with something my dad told me. basically there's new studies and whatnot and apparently eating a french fry is WORSE than smoking a cigarette. because your body can detoxify the cig better/faster than the fry (?).
anyway so then that night i had the dream. its been a while so i dont remember the details but i still know the basic plot. ok so my brother and i were addicted to smoking. i remember smoking in a car. i wanted to quit but it was difficult. however i eventually managed to quit somehow. but my brother was still addicted and couldnt quit. and then it ended.
it felt so bizarre to have that kind of dream bro....... i cant even describe it.... its kinda cool/weird when real life events inspire or occur in my dreams though. i should start up my dream journaling again but im always too lazy to write them down.
new drawings of lou and indy yayy! i havent drawn these 2 in forever
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| i love how lou turned out but indy...... |
who want to make labubu dubai chocolate smores for winter
bruh i got so many white hairs i mean i noticed this near the beginning of 2025 but it was like. 1 strand.
i literally got all the bad genes from my family im not even joking. i cant think of a single good thing i got other than my eye color. kms ๐ญ
does anyone else have a million split ends in their hair
i have so many and its bothered me ever since i realized i have split ends years ago ๐ ive been manually cutting them off, prob cut off hundreds of hair strands by now. im never doing anything to my hair again... im never getting a perm again... i just want long healthy hair
some of the split ends in my hair were GNARLY bro literally 1 strand splitting off into 6+ pieces eughh ๐ญits reallyy satisfying to cut them off though
guess who took the sat today. this was the worst experience ever im not even exaggerating ๐ญ๐ญ๐๐
FIRST OF ALL!! for some reason my computer would NOT connect the the wifi no matter what. some nice person even tried to help me but it still wasnt working. so i was holding everyone back for at least 15 mins and everyone was looking at me holy ☹️๐ great way to start the day. so i ended up starting like an hour late along with 5 other people. there were so many problems not just connecting to wifi sighh.. but everything else was quick compared to that.
bro reading and writing module 2 was genuinely insane. it was like taking a damn science test not a reading test ๐ญ๐ญI DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE VEINS ON A LEAF OR THE SPECIES ON SOME 40 MILLION YEAR OLD ISLAND OR WHAT DEPTH SHELLS UNDER THE SEA HATCH!! omG half the questions and passages were genuinely so dense and long that i had to guess on like 7 of them cuz i ran out of time. im so maddd cuz r&w is the only thing im good at and ik i couldve done so much better ughh but there was no time and some questions really were ridiculous. im not tweaking out either hundreds of people had the same experience even tutors!!!
math wasnt good either but then again im not particularly good at math so i cant really tell anything ๐ญ but lots of people said math was also unusually hard.
also i was sitting right in front of the proctors desk bc i had to charge my borrowed laptop and this was the worst decision ever ๐ญeverything was good for the first module! then she started constantly drinking water loudly and eating all kinds of food wtf. this lasted all the way until the last module was halfway over btw. think i have some sort of misophonia because the chewing, gulping, and mouth noises she was making genuinely infuriated me and it was all i could focus on๐and there was also a lively cheerleading team practicing outside our classroom. so i couldnt concentrate at all ๐๐๐proctors eating/drinking during testing time should be illegal.
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| how i felt during that rw section. during the whole experience really |
shouldve taken the september sat rughhjgk everyone said that was really easy. ofc the next one has to be diabolical. i heard people say there were literally kids sobbing in the test room. you cant make ts up man ๐also the comments ppl are making about this sat are killing me theyre so funny to read. we all suffering together rn๐๐๐
well, looks like i have to go test-optional ๐ฌ if i was majoring in art this would be maybe fine, but for other things... ok but everyone else seemed to struggle a lot for this sat so i hope theres a huge curve ๐ป
Today's song OTD is Sienna by The Marias! Ik this is supposed to be a sad song but I never saw it that way. I love how dreamy this song feels. The part at 2:25, there's something so romantic (?) about it sighhh.
ok first of all happy october i was gonna post yesterday but i accidentally fell asleep at like 9pm lol. theres only 2 months of the year left!!!!! how crazy. i feel like i should be getting a lot done this month ahhhh!!! need to delete my procrastination issues ong
anyway. i really wanna befriend someone older... like 60-80. even 30+ idc. maybe there will be a volunteering option where theres gonna be old people that i can do. man i just really want someone who can give me life advice and can be like a role model idk ๐ญ๐ญi want to listen to all their life stories. i love listening to people talk!! and we can keep each other company ๐๐since a lot of older people are lonely. everyone lonely nowadays.
