broouhhgh i really wish i was raised to be more 'expressionate' idk like. parents who sing or dance or play an instrument and encourage their children to do it too and it becomes a fun hobby or even career for the kids. feel like i would be so much more confident now if i was raised like that too 😭 and it would force me out of being anxious 

i guess i had my chances though cuz i used to take ballet and do piano and did performances for both. actually i think those experiences mightve made me not as anxious as i couldve been when doing presentations now. i dont even remember why i wanted to quit ballet now smh my head.

thinking about how when people are like 20+, they look back on what they used to do as a kid for fun and try to get into those things again. 

i need new hobbies so bad if i start singing/dancing will it increase my self efficacy/esteem 😭wish i got into this stuff again when i was 14 or 15, when i had so much free time. ughhh 18 is young in the long run but it is also old sighh