this is really random but yknow how the past tense of 'sneak' is sneaked. this sounds so wrong to me. i feel like it should be snuck. snuck should be the formal past tense of sneak not sneaked. sneaked sounds so awkward and clunky, snuck is easier to say and sounds more smooth/elegant to me. 

deep voices on women 😍

 who else loves women with deep/mature/husky sounding voices!! its so underrated i swear.. omg one time i stumbled upon this one korean youtuber's video and she doesnt talk a lot but in this one she speaks with her full voice and it was the deepest voice ive ever heard on a woman before. holyy it was literally exquisite though made me go a little bit crazy tbh. 

i hate that women are expected to have high-pitched bubbly voices bruh why do aesthetic norms have to be so restrictive 😭 i will never understand people that hate on low voices for women. its so peak 😩

beauty standards

 its kinda crazy how ingrained beauty standards and gender norms are in this world. the first time i was aware/insecure of my body was literally kindergarten 💀 cuz i was sitting at a table and 2 of my classmates (boys) were talking about how they already had arm hair growing in. omg i remember this moment so clearly. they said the fact that they had arm hair meant they were already men/on the way to becoming real men. and then they were debating on whether girls had arm hair and ended up with the conclusion that girls didnt have body hair 😭 who taught them this stereotype at the ripe age of 5 bro. i remember feeling so confused cuz i had arm hair and wanted to interject that that wasnt true but i felt too ashamed/shy to say that. 

yknow what, thinking about it, maybe this was one of the incidents that helped kick-start my low self-esteem and anxiety arc .. 💀

it always kills me inside when men complain about women having any type of body hair and literally saying women should be hung/killed/assaulted for it. what the hell man 💔💔 men saying they want a 'natural woman' and then not being able to handle the fact that women are not born with silky smooth hairless dolphin skin ☠️☠️☠️ do straight guys even like women. 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is No. 1 Party Anthem by Arctic Monkeys.. been kinda obsessed with this song lately. It's so bittersweet. 2:20-3:00 is so peak especially... This has been my first song otd in a while but tbh dont think im gonna do them much anymore. havent been listening to as much music as well 

Also I saw this one Nishi edit and omg.. someone tell me why it keeps making me tear up... I think this is the 1st Nishi edit I've ever seen. He's so underrated fr. It's actually really insane when you think about Nishi's character arc, he changed so much. Also I think Nishi was Joe's first real friend? I love their friendship so much wahh I miss anj again now 😭 It's so tragic that he didn't attend Joe's last match bro why wasn't he there 💔💔

my last summer break hughhh // adulthood

 bruh i cant believe this is basically my last summer break for HS. yeah theres technically another break after 12th but that doesnt really count imo. by then ill be an adult. and after graduation ill be probably busy looking for a j*b or college prep idk. 

only got a few weeks left of break... lowkey its really sad. normal people hang out with their friends a lot during summer break and ill never get to experience that at this point 😭 time feels like its slipping by too quickly. and it feels like its kinda too late for things even though people tell me stuff like "your life has barely begun." 

sighh also i dont really want to be an adult soon. the thought of not being legally considered a child anymore is so terrifying to me. why cant adulthood be when you turn 20/21. your brain doesnt even fully mature until 25+. and 18 is still technically a teen year even if youre legally an adult. is there even much difference between 17 and 18... tbh im kinda conflicted about turning 18 because people say it gets better but also idk. ive also heard people who are 65 still feeling 17 in their head. i dont know if thats terrifying or comforting 😭😭i wonder what age ill feel like a real adult cuz i still feel like a 13 year old and have the same feelings as my 3rd grade self 💀

anyway i need to lock in and get work done for the rest of this summer but my procrastination is so bad lol. i dont wanna study for SATS 😭 i hate math!! 

all these colleges want me so bad

 think i literally got 20 emails from colleges just from today. maybe even more. and the day isnt even over yet. why are they always spamming me bruh. i didnt even give my contact info to most of them?? colleges are soo desperate for no reason they just want peoples money smh my head. 

also these schools are sending me brochures LEFT and RIGHT oh my gahh man i literally have a huge stack of them. i never read the brochures or emails anyway. only 1 bc it looked pretty and well-thought out. 

can they stop spamming me already..💔💔i am NOT interested in goucher college what kinda name is that. and i DONT want to become a miner!!

summer art

 some of my artworks since summer break started 😝

human version of my vampire oc bc 
i wanted to test a new coloring brush lol
i like the background :D

drew her on a whim and i like
how it turned out!

ok thats it cuz this getting long

childhood crushes..

 ok well tbh i cant really even do this because thing because,, ive never actually had childhood crushes before. 💀 can never relate when ppl talk abt this. omg i hate when people at school ask me who my crush is or if i have a crush on so-and-so what am i even supposed to say... anyway idk how everyone has all these childhood crushes, why did i never experience that :((

like youve gotta be kidding me. maybe theres just something wrong with me idk. honestly as a child whenever i watched movies i thought romance like kissing scenes were the grossest thing in the world. for example i remember watching aladdin in some sort of class and being so disgusted by the kiss scene. now though, idm some romance stuff that much anymore since ive been exposed to it a lot. 

ok but for real people, ive only had 1 crush in my entire life, in kindergarten bruh. i dont even really remember having a crush on them but i guess i did 😭im told it probably wasnt even a real crush cuz i was so young.

i dont really understand how everyone had all these crushes on characters and celebrities and whatnot. what does a crush even feel like anyways. i can never tell if it is or not?? there are characters i adore but i couldnt say i have/had a crush on them.

 ever since i got back from college why do i feel so tired and lethargic all the time 😭😭im even getting more sleep than i did back over there wtf. i have a lot of things i want/need to do but i just feel so lazy and tired man. oh my gah dont tell me im one of those people that need a strict structure/schedule to get things done 😭😭noooooo 

been wanting to do this template for a while

 

random but ive seen ppl replace
mouse with horse for some reason

also i love that mira has a long face, female chars esp in cartoons and anime always have a round face. her hair is so fun to draw too :D

idek how i came up with this

 

i miss making anj fanart i used to have so many ideas but never drew them

one more doodle

type of friendship i could only dream about

 

Bruh youve gotta be joshing me rn..

Suddenly remembering this one moment in 4th grade. Ok basically I was moving away so like saying bye to my classmates n stuff. And they also were saying a few things too. This one boy.... oh man I don't remember exactly what he said but it was like "I didn't even notice you were in the room half the time" (cuz I was the quiet kid) and then something else i don't remember what he said tbh but it was nice? Like "but you're chill/ a nice person" idk. It's the first part that really stuck with me 💀 I took it as a compliment at the time but now I realize that's kinda a weird thing to say 😭 why did I take that as a compliment 😭😭

I remember 4th grade so clearly it was a crazy year lots of memories 

Helpppr ☹️ school vent

Art school is killing me 😭😭 my arm and back hurt from drawing in uncomfortable environments 😭 I miss my old desk and chair man

Bruh the food here is so repetitive and most of it tastes mid to bad and is unhealthy 💔😔

My skin got worse since I got here and my eczema also came back on both arms and its so painful AHHHHHHH I'm gonna crash out. And I'm sick of the moldy dorms and showers 😭

Also need to draw so quickly to meet deadlines and its lowkey stressful idk what happened but I draw really slowly now 💀 only for lineart tho. 

The grind never stops.... 

I wonder how much worse going to college fr will be... imagine doing art and also having other classes and juggling grades and chores and living in a small dorm with a roommate for 4+ years AND being in debt omg. 

Fashun thoughts

Brahhh I really wish to be able to express myself through my appearance more 😭 or just look how I wish I looked. I wanna wear clothes from a variety of styles, seeing all the different kinds of things people wear online is sooo amazing fr. Also think it would be cool to try some styles once just for fun like goth or lolita or gyaru idk.

Unforch.. I'm poor and not confident so I can't 😭 Maybe when I'm an adult/move out from parents home... Who else has a parent that never really let you pick your own clothes 💔💔 so u just wear whatever and don't even know what you want anymore cuz u never got the chance to choose what you liked 

Omg also I think it would be really fun to do a cosplay with a group of friends. And wearing fun/vibrant makeup styles looks cool too. Alsoo I really want to cut/dye my hair different colors but I'm also tryna grow it smh my head

Ok last thing I love people who are dedicated to a style fr 🫶🫶 (Or wearing a silly outfit like a lorax costume lol.) I just love seeing their fits/makeup. Its nice to see people who can express themselves like that unabashedly ourghhf. There are a few of those types of people in my school rn. Maybe cuz this is an art school lol 

This was my skibidi toilet. Back in the day

😭😭😭

 

drawing for reference

Was walking to dinner today and saw these two women they were both really tall and had long legs, they looked like models 😭 they were so pretty.. why are there so many divas here. Ngl I like people watching it's fun 

Ts is so random but has anyone else had to tell themselves repeatedly like "they won't hate me" to try to reassure yourself every time you wanted to text someone or am I just weird 😭😭 man I have such a complex about talking to ppl (esp first) I always think I'm bothering them 😭 

This problem used to be way worse for me since the beginning of the school year I just finished lol, got a bit better about it now tho 🥳👍 

SAD is the gift that keeps on giving. Smh my head 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is The Star, To You 17 Years Old by NASTYONA! This is so bittersweet :( The beat/melody of this song is very comforting and familiar. 

bro how are other people able to be so free and emote and stuff 💔 like doing silly voices/faces, voice inflection, etc. just being able to express themselves in a variety of ways. i feel like some sort of robot that's trying to blend in with everyone but failing miserably 😭 idk. wish i could do the same but im so monotonous and timid in my actions and voice even when im trying not to be 💀😭 i probably come off as so cold and boring to others 🫩 

Kinda want to do this but i dont have followers.. 🥀🥀

 

tv girl

These people will see anything pink and blue and immediately shout out, "tv girl?!" "tv girl reference?!" and there are dozens of these comments.. even when the art is obviously not 😭😭 and then there are no comments abt the actual art just tv girl copy pastes 💔💔 why does everything have to be tv girl smh my head. These artists are most likely just using complimentary colors bffr. 

Oops

Guys no posts again for like 3 weeks cuz im not at home 💀 or maybe I'll post some things but not a lot... and probably no more song otds for a while too 

I know I just got back but uhm... yeah 😭

Song OTD

 I'm backk woohoo! Feels like I haven't done a song otd in weeks... omg and i just realized its july 2nd today whatt i thought it was still june somehow lol. anyway today's song otd is esper by mamerico! i like the lilting tone of the singer's voice... this song is so calm and nice. that cover is so cute too

No posts for a few days

Going on a goofy ahh trip 

Sybau everyone ❤️❤️❤️ (stay young beautiful and unique)

grrahh

making a one-shot is so hard bruh i only have to lineart and color but its 40 pages and i got less than a week now 💀 i hate linearting i wish i could just use my sketches 😤 i just wanna be done with ts idec about the comic anymore 😭

how it feels to draw with a strict deadline.. 
someone needa lock me up like this so i can
get all my work done fr

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is どしゃ降りの雨の中で (In the Pouring Rain?) by Akiko Wada! This is such a beautiful song. I love how this sounds distinctly Japanese too. Love all the instruments in here.. the lyrics are sad but it sounds kinda buoyant. Also Akiko's background is really interesting and crazy wow 

eczema pmo so bad!!!

 I HATE ECZEMA!!! ts pmo soo bad holyy. and it NEVER goes away, theres always a random flare-up bruh i dont wanna deal with this for my entire life....... it burns and itches so bad omg it feels like putting your skin on a hot stove 😭 and trying to fix it with lotion or whatever makes it even worse. my eczema used to be so bad and i thought it was better but it always comes back 💀 genuinely the most uncomfortable feeling to have on your skin. looks and feels so ugly and gross. why do i have so many physical and mental problems man 💔

me fighting the urge to itch my skin

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Mayonaka no Tennis Coat by Kingo Hamada! I love how deep and rich the instruments sound in this song! It very much gives yearning for something vibes 

 oh my goodness... i finally did it.. i got myself to reach and stay at just over 100lbs 😭😭 omg this took so long i was stuck in the 90lbs range for forever. we defeating emaciation with this one!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Dreamy by Dan Fontaine! The title already describes this song lol. Sounds like something that would play in a warmly lit cafe on a rainy night. What a peaceful song.. daydreamy type song.. 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is the main theme of  Amore Mio Aiutami! This song sounds so dreamy and beautiful... it makes me sad. Also on summer break now, it feels so weird and bittersweet this year for some reason

art doodless

 

Art stuff omggg. Drew this during english class today cuz I was bored. Lowkey so fun to draw in that class cuz i sit in the back next to some other artists & the atmosphere is so cozy. Ok anyway really like how this turned out ngl... feels like this is the first "real" thing ive drawn in ages. Its not perfect but everything came out so cute methinks 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Ocean Bomb by babyMINT! Been listening to more Chinese music lately! I love this song; it sounds so bubbly/reverb-like idk how to explain. I love the vocal delay in it too!! And the clicky-ness. This song is so satisfying to listen to and so summery hehe 

who else got these fears?!

1. bad hearing, idk why but im really precious about my hearing. i never listen to loud music even if i want to. i hate places with loud music like parties!!! and also fitness places why do they blast their music so loud. just because the music is loud doesnt mean im gonna be more motivated to work out 💀 tried this one boxing place one time and omg after the class i literally couldnt hear right for almost an hour. felt like i was underwater smh my head. im so paranoid about getting hearing damage 😭 i dont want tinnitus or sum later down the line, now that would be hell.

2. stairs. bruh if i even stumble for even one second on the stairs my heart feels like it stops. im so scared of falling down the stairs and injuring myself in some way. like maybe i knock my teeth out 😭 my mom told me story once, a girl had a chopstick in her mouth while going down the stairs and fell, and the chopstick stabbed through her throat and she died 😭😭 so many people get injured/die from stairs... its crazy...... 

3. eye injuries/going blind. lowkey i dont think life would be worth it if i couldnt see. i already have bad eyesight loll it makes life so annoying. people who have 20/20 vision are so blessed 💔 feel like its surprisingly easy to get an eye injury, like anything could happen. 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Sugar by Mass of the Fermenting Dregs! I love the energy here. And the cover looks really yummy too

 does anyone else like eating raw pasta. not uncooked pasta but cooked just no sauce. its really good it feels like a palate cleanser yknow 

Song OTD

Today's song OTD is Sonho do Brasil! This song feels like skipping and twirling through a grassy field dotted with bright red flowers during golden hour
 

its june

 happy june yall! we're officially at the halfway mark of 2025... well tbh its not exactly half but idc. guys this is so crazy .. school is almost done.. summer will be here soon. how come the days and months go by so quickly💔one blink and the next school year will start at this rate. anyway i hope it gets warmer soon, i wanna go to the beach this month. hope june and july dont fly by too quickly 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Whiplash by aespa! This song has been on my mind lately. Also I really love aespa's aesthetic, that metallic dark futuristic y2k kinda look. 

Also!! This is my 400th post omg can you believe guys 400 posts. That's so much. I feel like a real blogger kinda. 10 months of blogging woww it's almost been a year 

Kantaro: The Sweet Tooth Salaryman

 I just finished watching this insane and silly show called Kantaro: The Sweet Tooth Salaryman. It's basically about this dude that decided to become a salaryman at a publishing house so he could play hooky and secretly eat various sweets after work. He posts reviews of the food on his blog, Ameblo (I think this blog exists irl too). This man loves sweets so much he genuinely starts tweaking out after trying each dessert 💀 He's very expressive. It was fun to learn about the different Japanese (and some European) foods. The close-up shots looked really good. Watching this show made me wanna go to these stores too lol. If I ever visit Japan again maybe I could... 

Ok back to the show, it's so over the top and absurd lol. I love how Kantaro quotes people like Nietzsche and Winston Churchill and ties the quotes into his relationship with food 💀It's surprisingly entertaining. I kinda wish there was more on Dobashi (his coworker, she keeps trying to prove Kantaro is the one behind his blog) cuz it kept going nowhere. She seems to be a sweets fanatic too, so I think they could have fun visiting desert shops and discussing food together.

Also, surprisingly, there were a lot of English words when they could've used Japanese instead. I wonder why they did that. It was nice to try to see how much Japanese I could understand though. The show is only 12 episodes so it was easy to finish :D I wish there was a S2 so we could see the winter and spring desserts common in Japan but it's not gonna happen </3 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Dream For You by 完美倒立! This song sounds like a whirlwind of feelings I love the instruments 

people's grammar is horrendous nowadays

 im not perfect at grammar myself and ill write lazily without adding the proper apostrophes, commas, or capitalization in many posts like this one but why are so many people's grammar skills in general so bad these days😭 the amount of people who dont know the difference between all the "theirs" and "yours" is actually insane. ive even seen adults & teachers not using the right "your" before like .. how? also the rise of "could of, should of," anything like that is absurd. it pmo fr do teenagers really read that little nowadays to not know its could've?? why are native english speakers the worst at grammar ESL people are better than y'all... 

also ive been seeing this more recently, people will add a random comma after but for no reason. like "but, she didnt like it" omgg why are you adding unnecessary commas in your published writing. where did this come from? 

also people who dont know the difference between:

peaked/peeked/piqued

loose/lose

bawled/balled

weary/wary 

etc. it actually surprises me when i see posts online where people know the difference between all these points now 💀 please at least know the difference between the different yours and theirs im begging.... its really not that hard man you have no excuse not to know if youre a native english speaker ngl unless you have dyslexia or something 

shakespeare

 "A Midsummer Night's Dream" is lowkey the best title ive ever heard of before. it just sounds so poetic and wistful ... i need to read it sometime ngl. also since we're on the topic i love shakespeare's "sonnet 18" i havent read many of his sonnets but this one is so beautiful. i love the line "rough winds do shake the darling buds of may" it invokes such a specific and delightful imagery for me. how did this man come up with such amazing writing ... 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Fresh by Kool & The Gang! I love funk music 

who else never understood school

 Never gaf abt college even when other kids in middle school would have their dream college and even own merch and discuss what college they wanna go to.... college pmo actually everyone is always asking me about college IM STILL A MINOR i dont know what i wanna do for the rest of my life!! goud. it isnt even worth it like it used to be im just gonna be slaving away paying off debt for the rest of my life 

Also kinda related same for school in general lowkey. Ppl always like oh each year is so different, middle school and high school are so different .. but every year since elementary school ended has felt the same to me 💀 nothing had changed at all each year... maybe its all just cuz i live such a boring and lonely life. ive never had a normal high school experience ever 💔 same for middle school for the most part too

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Lucky by Lucky Twice! I love this song so much... life mantra fr. I'm so lucky lucky I'm so lovely lovely 😋 #obsessed 

some crazy ahh drivers

 brah why people drive so crazy where i live.. no one uses their blinker oh my gousshh .. people always speeding too. worst part is when people turn and then when they're 90% done with the turn/merge THEN they turn on their blinker for like 1 second 💀💀 like its too late now.. smh my head. people are so impatient they try to weave through cars like crazy and chances are they dont use blinkers like you're gonna cause a crash bro!! even when im crossing a street to get to my bus stop some people just swerve around me without slowing down much while im in the middle of crossing 💀 im gonna get run over some day i swear... cant trust these roads 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is 猫のしっぽ犬のしっぽ (Cat's tail, dog's tail?) by ko-ko-ya! This song is so playful and fun! Very charming and delightful. Sounds like music that'd play in the bg of a cute little animal themed mobile game 

im so jealous

 Had to write a paper about a historic event/person a while back and I chose the Holocaust/Elie Wiesel's book, Night. My teacher handed the paper back to me and she wrote in the margins that Elie spoke at MY SCHOOL in 2000. Omg the one interesting thing* that actually happened at my school, and it happened years ago... I can't even find anything about it online. She wrote he said the most important lesson for humanity was to "not stand idly by." I really wish I could've heard him speak that day 💔💔💔 It was probably such a rare and amazing experience. Elie's book was great too; I read a bunch of Holocaust memorials and wanted to write some reviews but never got around to it yet. 

He's so precious RIP Elie 💔

*I did get to listen to a Pearl Harbor survivor that visited my school a few months ago though. It was really fascinating to learn about.

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Older Girl by 1986 OMEGA TRIBE! I like the lyrics of this song. Also btw does anyone else hate when comments are almost always disabled on songs unless you look for a reupload with like 32 views... i wanna hear what other people think about the song 

this song

 

brah this song kept playing on youtube videos and now its stuck in my head 😭 idk if i hate it or not.. "haii! nani ga suki? chokominto yori mo a-na-ta" keeps repeating in my mind omggf

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Ladyfingers by Herb Alpert! Why is it so hard to find light and refreshing songs like this

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Falling Asleep Under the Starts by why this ? This song is so bouncy and light and the piano is really nice! Sounds kinda jazzy too which I love. Ending is great too but it cuts off kinda weird 😭 Sounds too sudden. Discovered this song because of this YTer ggg. and I love their playlists 😍 Really good for doing homework. I'm such a sucker for the cafe aesthetic in their thumbnails too 

random features i really like ☺️

1. pores, especially larger pores i dont think they look ugly. they add character to your face and look interesting ngl. i remember in 4th grade there was this girl i was kinda friends with. she had visible pores and i thought they were soo beautiful i really admired them and wanted pores just like hers 😭

2. i think monolids are really underrated. so many people feel pressured to get surgery for double eyelids especially in east asia💔 double eyelids arent the only pretty eye shape 😭 i think having monolids/epicanthal folds make your eyes pop out more and look more 3 dimensional. one of, if not my favorite eyes shapes fr. also idk what its called but i noticed in some east asian eyes there is this triangle-shaped part of skin at outer corner. its a little pinker and kinda shimmers and catches the light in a really beautiful way. obsessed with this feature its sooo striking and gorgeous i love it 😩i love eyes so much best feature of all time 

3. broad shoulders, women always hating on their broad shoulders but i think it can look really elegant/graceful and strong. having broader shoulders doesnt immediately make you look masculine!! you can still look pretty and feminine! 

like this is peak fr 

4. omg bruh i forgot to add this i knew i was missing something 💔 but i like women with prominent side burns or like the baby hair on the back of the neck. idk why people dont like them they look good 😭

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Lovely Day by Bill Withers! Happy music happy life 

 

This is peak Danpei cosplay.. I love how the teeth are just paper glued on 💀 Singing is good too

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is One Day by Omoinotake! This song is so painful ngl. When is "someday"? 💔

why do i have the most horrific dreams ever :(((

like hey no i dont want to dream about constantly being chased and hiding and always being on edge and waking up with my heart racing. i dont want to dream about my family members being brutally killed and screaming my heart out while sobbing bruh. i cant watch even a slightly gore-y scene irl man why 😭😭 thanks anxiety for making my sleep miserable too 💔 some of my dreams are genuinely so disturbing. i can literally remember only 1 peaceful dream ive had in my life .. like a true peaceful dream no drama/real plot or evil people just nature and warm sunlight and cats 💔💔

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Something's Wrong with the Morning by Margo! Idk why the beginning sounded kinda French to me. I listened to this a long time ago but don't even remember ToT It's fun to look back at old songs tho 

RAHH I FINISHED WANIKANI!!!

Guys I lied last time when I said I wasn't gonna finish WK... couldn't resist and bought 1 more month so I could complete it. I reached level 60 5 days ago but finally finished learning all my vocab and stuff today. Man it's so weird... I'm never gonna learn any new lessons from that app ever again. I'm so glad I won't have to do over 400+ reviews everyday now. Overall it was really fun and addicting and I learned a lot easily 😍 I probably spent at least 400 hours on this thing. Also for the amount I paid to use it I feel like they should lock the app at the level you're at when the subscription expires instead of locking you at lvl 3😭Or give it for free for lvl 60 users smh my head. So that you can still practice kanji/vocab. Anyway I'm gonna miss WaniKani ngl. I was so consistent with it. Truly amazing. 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is 愛して愛して愛して (Love me, Love me, Love me) covered by Ado! How can her voice sound so angelic and so powerful at the same time 😭 I love the screaming I love songs where women scream fr. Loveee the vocal growl/fry sm. Also it's insane how her live sounds so much better than the studio version. Sooo peakkk this is my repeat song rn. 

did a gratitude journal for 3 weeks

Decided to start a gratitude journal cuz apparently it’s really good for you and for happiness y'know. So I finally finished yesterday yayy and it kinda worked I think. Didn't get life changing results but it helped. It made me feel less annoyed at things and enjoy doing stuff I hated more and be slightly happier. I think it also helped with anxiety a little and I became slightly more social. It also helped me appreciate things more. Cuz even if I had a bad day I could still look back and find a few things I was grateful for, and that made the day seem less bad. Idk if I'll continue doing this maybe 3 more weeks to see if it improves my mental health any further 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Tell Me by FIFTY FIFTY! Listening to my old liked songs again. Happy music happy life 👍This song feels like a montage of nice memories with friends 

 Does anyone else think it's too late for them 😭 like there's suddenly so many things I wanna do/learn but idk I feel like I'm starting too late. Which is kinda crazy bc I'm not even an adult yet. But lots of people that become good at something and do their passion professionally start so early like professional figure skaters start at 4 years old and if you start too late you can never realize your full potential. Wish I could restart my life sometimes 💔 I still got time but I'll never get my wasted years back 😭

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is A Quick One Before the Eternal Worm Devours Connecticut

anj

had a dream about anj the other day..... i was looking on this website and there was a list of most popular manga. and anj was in the #1 spot. also there were like 5 official english translation books and i was so excited & wanted to read them 😂 dont remember the rest of the dream.. i should start writing my dreams down again so my memory gets better. also whenever i have an anj-related dream its so random/weird for some reason.

also since we're on the topic i just found out that all of 尾藤イサオ's anj songs got removed from spotify 😭😭😭💔💔💔 omg NOOOOO why does this always happen man. now i have to scour the internet to find these songs again. kms. 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is くちづけ (Kiss) by BUCK-TICK! Been obsessed with this song. The part at 2:07 insane so good so catchy 

Shamisen

 

Shamisen is so cool... I wanna learn how to play it.... 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is 流星 by MUCC! This song sounds like something you'd listen to right before you die.

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is そなちね (Sonatine) by Tempalay. Goud that intro is so funky and cool. It's bizarreness draws you in. And this song is very nostalgic and light/playful. It has an undercurrent of heaviness/melancholy too. Feels like the fleetingness of youth. Also that MV is crazy I don't usually care abt watching the MVs but this one had me hooked. It's actually really depressing and surreal. 

I love media that challenges my beliefs

 I think my favorite media are the ones that challenged my beliefs in some way…. I love seeing things from another person's perspective, experiencing their passion and emotions anew for whatever topic through their eyes. I love being inspired by such things and being able to look at something in a new light and with a more open mind. :D

Song OTD

Today's song OTD is YOU & IDOL by Soutaiseiriron! This song sounds simple yet so wistful and full of yearning. Like someone who's trying to be happy after experiencing heartbreak but can't fully contain their sorrow.

did i just cure my artblock

 Bro istg literally cant draw anything on digital anymore.... its not like i dont have art ideas either i just cant draw....... So i tried drawing on traditional and suddenly i can kinda draw again 😭 ngl missed traditional art... its so fun. Actually maybe this happened bc i stopped drawing in sketchbooks. I can never give up paper and pencil 💥

tried drawing with no sketch too
its hard

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Mexican Dream by Piero Piccioni! So calming... so tranquil.. this song is like the fleeting beauty of sun rays coming through a forest canopy 

Song OTD

Today's song OTD is みずいろの雨 (Light Blue Rain) by Junko Yagami! Oughh I love Junko's voice in this song,,. it's so beautiful. And I don't really notice instruments that much tbh but I love all of them in this song. I especially love that bass guitar(?) solo raghhh. This song is so groovy, smooth, and with a hint of yearning too. Absolute peak. 
 

Yayyy 😄 grammar

 I finally bought a grammar book for Japanese!! Feel like I only stay consistent to a resource if I spend money on it 💀 Idk or the free options just aren't my style </3. But now I can finally study...... the most important part of language learning 😭😭 I'm so excited to be able to understand sentences and not guess based off kanji lolll. Also love the smell of a fresh new book.. simply amazing. 

me fr except i like learning kanji :D (most of
the time)

Song OTD

Happy May everyone! Can you believe we're almost halfway through 2025 🤯 Today's song OTD is Honey Vanity by Közi! I'm obsessed with the rhythm of his voice!! This song is so satisfying to listen to!! The ending is so ethereal too, absolutely peak song. I didn't know Közi could cook like this. Need to listen to more of his solo work....

Saint Young Men

 Started an anime 🤯everyone always telling me to watch anime to get better at Japanese ok. I've been wanting to watch Saint Young Men anyway. It looks like such a cute and funny show ☺️ Plus I've never seen this concept before esp in an anime.. Jesus and Buddha.. crazy... I just need something lighthearted after WLGYT. Only watched 1 ep cuz I got no time but it seems pretty entertaining.

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is by YeYe and Ginger Root - 水面に、アイス (Ice on the Surface of the Water?) Just a chill song fr. 

Song OTD

Today's song OTD is HIKINIKU by Haze! This has such a specific energy to it, idk how to describe it. Love it though. Sounds like a song you'd scream-sing to while driving down a highway.

Instagram pmo fr

Why is it that every teacher makes you use insta when there's a social media related project 😐 and they expect you to know all the nuances of insta too 😭 it's so annoying bro not everyone has the dang app.. it's so much trouble to install then log in cuz school internet sucks. I thought schools were against social media now anyway why can't we just research online. 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Masquerade by Hitomi Kuroishi! This song is so soft and ethereal and wistful... Omg Hitomi's voice sounds so balmy and smooth here it's insane. Also love the purple lighting and outfit in the vid. 

Finished When Life Gives You Tangerines......

 I finally finished WLGYT this morning!! Holyyyy it was actually so good, I didn't know what to expect going in bc I just decided to watch it on a whim one night. But omg.,, I don't think I've ever cried so much over a piece of media before😭Literally every single episode got me tearing up crying my eyes out. It's a simple yet complexed and a beautiful story with amazing acting. The whole thing felt so raw and real. Watching this was such an experience can't even put it into words... 

Loved all the themes of resilience despite adversity, poverty, love, the burdens of parenthood, the role of women changing in society, personal growth, how fleeting life is etc through multiple generations. Ngl I didn't think I'd like that WLGYT would span multiple generations, but it actually worked out well and I didn't mind it in the end.

Also this kdrama got me thinking about my parents and how they're getting slowly older .. and what they had to go through in their own lives. Idk it's really depressing to think about. The stuff about parents/parenthood got me crying the most. I've never wanted kids before but this got me thinking about it a little... how different a life with kids would be. 

Also also, I think WLGYT hit me emotionally just as much as or more than Ashita no Joe did 🤯 They're not super similar exactly, but it gave me the same feelings as AnJ did. The more I think about the ending the sadder/more bittersweet I feel omg.... just like AnJ fr. 

WLGYT did feel a little slow/boring at some times (which is why it took me a while to finish), but it's a slice of life and it always managed to pick back up after a while. It's better if you don't binge it probably. But still, this is a 10/10. Best kdrama I've ever watched for sure. Idk if anything like this could be made again. I wish I could watch this all over again, already miss the story and characters and it hasn't even been a full day </3 My eyes were swollen from crying after finishing the last ep lol

why is it so hard to gain weight 😭

 just found out that im about 3 pounds away from being in the 'severely underweight' category 💀 youve gotta be kidding me bro. been trying to gain weight for the past few months but it always drops back down to where i started 😭 tired of being like a chopstick 💔 and being cold all the time. guess i just have to work out a lot more💔💔💔

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Easy Lover by Philip Bailey and Phil Collins! Fell in love with this song the instant it started omg. That opening is insane. Love 80's music so much. This also sounds kinda nostalgic/deja vu at times maybe I've heard it before .. 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Talk that Talk by TWICE! Listening to more kpop again. I've heard this song before but for some reason, listening to it today, it just hit different. Tell me what you wantt tell me what you need 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Kiss a Kitty by CHUU! I really love this style of editing for the visuals :) Had this song on loop for the past day. It's really catchy 

cant draw anymore 💔

 bruh idk what happened but ever since i did that noriko sketch from march i havent been able to draw anything well except for 1 thing 💀 literally tried drawing 25+ different things but only managed to finish one after a while. what happened 😭 maybe going back to traditional art and studies will fix me 😣

heres the thing i did btw. drew my old ocs from this post: Mon Blog: Search results for oc concept      ngl kinda love these 2 again, think i have a couple storyline drafts for them too..? man i always talk abt writing stories for my ocs and then abandon them a few days later 😂

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is Capricorn Woman by Naomi Akimoto! This is a really solid song, it sounds kinda familiar and catchy. That random interlude halfway through was unexpected. Also really love the cover in this vid, colors, lighting, pose, hair, everything is stunning.

plain rice is peak 🗣️🗣️🗣️!!

 does anyone else like just plain rice. like plain white rice. omg its soo good. i could eat an entire bowl of just plain rice or rice in hot water. freshly cooked rice is so fragrant and has such a specific smell, its really warm and comforting. my friends used to ask me why i ate plain rice and not with kimchi or something, but rice by itself is just really good and has its own flavor smh my head. its just really satisfying to eat rice in general🤤theres gotta be others who like this 

just looking at this makes me hungry omfzggj

Song OTD

Today's song OTD is ドレス (Dress) by BUCK-TICK! Wow I never knew BUCK-TICK was cool like this... this song is so good. It seriously reminds me of something but too but idk what. This song just sounds so familiar, maybe I've heard it before? I love vkei 😍needa get more into it 
 

Song OTD

Today's song OTD is QkThr by Aphex Twin! This song sounds nostalgic.... and the subtle creaks omg I've never noticed that before 

I'm Back! // Song OTD

 

Hi guyss hi my 1 fan I'm finally back! I was gonna post earlier but I got sick AGAIN 💀 I swear bruh I've been sick so many times this year already.  Anyway, today's song OTD is sign 0 by Chouchou! Those first new notes of the piano made me think this was a Houseki no Kuni song ngl. But this song is so beautiful, wistful, soft, and tristful. It feels very comforting in a way. This is also one of those songs where it really makes me wanna animate to it..... omg I need to learn animation someday fr

title

 bro omg i didnt even realize i havent posted in 4 days thought it was like 1 or 2 .... tbh been really losing interest in everything so i dont have anything to post. idk when ill be posting regularly again with things that arent song otd 😩😩so my blog will prob be pretty empty for a bit 

Song OTD

 

Ok technically this is a playlist but I don't wanna look for a song rn so.... Lately I've been lowkey obsessed with this playlist it's soo good to just play in the background while cooking/cleaning/whatever; it has the perfect amount of energy to keep you motivated while doing boring chores 🤩

Song OTD

Happy April everyone!! To match, today's song OTD is Lunes 1 De Abril by The Holydrug Couple! It's refreshing to listen to music w/o lyrics again... man this song is too short tho only 1 min 

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is 12月の雨 (December Rain) by Yumi Arai! Someday time will be a generous friend 💔

Song OTD

 

Today's song OTD is La Vie En Rose by Edith Piaf! This sounds sooo old romantic, a song that would play in a move like that Up sequence or something... it sounds so familiar too. This song is just so beautiful....

Also unrelated but it's so hard to find music now. I never know what I wanna listen to :( 

It's been a year! 🤯

 Omg guyss I just noticed but I've been using WaniKani for a year now omg.... technically a year and 4 days now but whatever. It's kinda insane to think about... starting off not knowing anything and now I'm at level 47 🥳 I hope to get to lvl 51 before my subscription finally expires. I'll never get to lvl 60 prob bc it's too expensive to pay again but thats okay. This app is so well made and addicting, so happy I've been able to power thru all the levels with relative ease💪Now, thanks to WK I can recognize and read words like hepatitis and naval fleet in Japanese!!! 🩷☺️